Slayers Verses
by SakiKitty
Summary: The Slayers meet up with a group of strange people called the Elementals and live with them for a while. Alot of humor and love so READ IT! its HALARIOUS! Plez R&R and no Flames! maybe LEMONS. maybe.
1. A Crazy beginning

Welcome,

Disclaimer: no, I do not own Slayers. Though I do wish I did cause then I would have such a different life! Oh man.

Introduction to Characters

( ) – Narrator 1 Yurei and Reiyu's Creator and Yurei's Personality

– Narrator 2 Saki and Lioku's Creator and Saki's Personality

– Both Narrators Boss.

Episode One: A Crazy Beginning

"Hello, this is reporter Amelia Wil Telsa Seyruun and the cameraman is Reiyu Ling." Reiyu steps in front of Amelia still holding the camcorder.

"Hello people! Hello world! I'm on T.V.! Hi mom!" Reiyu says way too enthusiastically and then returns to his original position behind the camera. (Thank the Lord of Nightmares.)

"We both are going to take you through a normal day of my friends who call themselves The Slayers and Reiyu's group who call themselves the Elementals."

"What in the fuck are you two doing at six in the morning?!" yelled Yurei who had circles around her eyes and her hair very frizzy, walking as though she was eighty in her P.J's.

"Hi Mary Sunshine," said Reiyu in his sugar high mode. Yurei tackles him, for though tired still quite energetic and powerful when angered. Reiyu, somehow, miraculously is still holding the camera. Amelia is standing over the two moving back and forth to where Reiyu is grasping the camera, trying not to break it or get it broken.

"Now you are witnessing the early morning beating of Reiyu. You can almost feel his pain," Amelia says Almost.

"What's going on out here? You woke us up," Lina says drowsily, rubbing her eyes, in her P.J.'s. (Us being Lina, Gourry, Zelgadis and Xellos; Lioku and Filia are still in bed) Man that sounded wrong and Saki only the Lord of Nightmares knows. Automatically see Yurei killing her brother.

"Yurei, please stop it," Zelgadis says, being the only one fully awake besides the one being murdered and the one doing the documentary. Yurei leaps off Reiyu and hugs Zelgadis tightly. Face fault from everyone except Yurei and Reiyu who is just now standing, camera positioned. Finally gains back his breath.

"Don't mind her, she always acts like a drunken idiot when half asleep." (Surprisingly, Reiyu said that.)

"Take me away from this world, Zelgadis! Give me a chance to become Mrs. Greywords! Then we can make baby Zelgadis and Yurei's! I can see them now, their miniatures of us! Or are they just chibis? They are chibis! So Cute! This one is Zelgadis-san and this one is Yurei-san! Just think of it my Zellypoo!" Zellypoo-uh I mean Zel is sweatdropping and turning blue-well bluer- you get the picture.

Saki suddenly walks in with bathrobe and drenches Yurei (and for that matter Zel) with a bucket of ice water. Both freezing and Yurei suddenly realizes what she is doing and lets go of Zel, blushing red.

"Did they up your medication again?" Saki asks.

Yurei (still blushing) "Yeah."

"It figures," Saki says, and then turns to Xellos. "Your not looking up my bathrobe, are you?"

Xellos with staff in hand lifting bathrobe up. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Where were you?" Gourry asks.

"She was in the shower, stupid," answered Lina (See, I told ya only the Lord of Nightmares would know where she is, and you didn't believe me. Man, it feels good to be right!) Sweatdrop

"AHEM," Zelgadis said loudly, "If you don't mind, I'd rather not stand here like a drenched idiot."

"Okay," replied Reiyu, _"Bomb Di Wind!"_

"No, Noo, NOOOO!!!" screamed Yurei as she ran out of the way. Unfortunately, Zelgadis didn't realize what would happen until it hit. After the blast disappeared, the gang then saw a now frozen-and I mean frozen- Popsicle-like Zelgadis. "Zel!" screamed Yurei, trying to move but to her dismay, her feet had frozen to the floor.

"I'll fix that," said Reiyu, preparing for another spell.

"No Reiyu, that's quite alright, you've done enough..." Yurei said, but it was too late.

"_FIREBALL!"_ A second later Yurei is seen with her hair singed at the ends, her nightgown near burnt to a crisp (No, it is still covering her up, just barely for you people with wrong minds) and she looks as though she has seen a ghost. She looks down and screams, then runs into her room/ Seconds later she comes out fully clothed in her 'yurei' costume (Yes, that is supposed to be a lowercase 'y') and her hair is no longer singed.

"How did you fix your hair that fast?" asks Amelia.

"I used Flamehair, of course!" Yurei says holding up a bottle and smiling as though she were doing a commercial. "Tired of singed hair from things like curlers or house fires, or just Reiyu? Well, say no more! Flamehair takes away that singe forever in less than two seconds or your money back. Just pour and rinse. And for only 4 easy payments of $24.95 you can have your hair feel nice again."

"Hey wait a sec, that's mine!" screamed Saki.

"How can it work in two seconds?" asks Lina.

"I got it from the all powerful Narrator 2!" Saki says and everyone sweatdrops.

"Now," says Yurei calmly (Yeah right) "WHY DID YOU TURN ME INTO A SHISHCABOB!"

"Opps, I didn't mean for it to be that powerful," says Reiyu. "Oh well, time for Zels turn."

"NOOO!!! ZELGADIS, I'LL SAVE YOU!!!" screams Yurei. She then grabs the block of ice and tries to lift it, but, as we all probably figured it is to early in the morning for her and it falls on her, trapping her underneath (but considering she is one of the main characters of the story she is not hurt-just to tell all you evil people out there who think it is that easy to injure my character-ahem, lets continue). She then crawls out from underneath it and decides to drag it instead. Everyone, including the frozen Zel, has a sweatdrop forming on his or her head as she pulls him out the door.

"Okay..." said Reiyu slowly.

"Saki, what is Yurei's medication for anyway?" asks Amelia.

"Only the Lord of Nightmares knows," Saki replies.

"Actually, I don't know this time," Lina says.

"Dammit," Saki says.

(Scene: Somewhere far away...) Actually, just outside the house (Well that's far for me!) Just go on with the story (Fine, Zelgadis is being dragged by Yurei into a garage, still frozen as an ice cube...) Well duh, she wouldn't be dragging him if he couldn't move himself (You obviously don't know my other personality too well yet) Sweatdrop (And as you can probably tell Yurei is enjoying this way too much.) Scary...Dun dun dun.

"Sorry abut my dunce brother Zel, but at least he's not as bad as Gourry," says Yurei. "Now to unfreeze you," she then takes out a welder and a facemask. She then takes a handkerchief out of her outfit and ties it around the block of ice where Zelgadis's now panic-stricken eyes are. She then puts on the mask. "Stay perfectly still Like he had a choice I haven't use one of these babies yet."

(Back at the house, screams are heard from outside) And only a true idiot wouldn't know where they came from

"What was that?" asked Gourry I rest my case. Not long after Yurei and Zelgadis come through the door, Zel's hair singed, his clothes singed (he didn't look as bad as Yurei had) and... And I know, he looked like he had seen a ghost ...no, he looked quite annoyed. Not only that but Yurei was carrying a fire extinguisher.

"I'm sorry Zel," says Yurei sadly, "But look on the bright side, at least Reiyu didn't throw a Flare Arrow at you," she continued as she squirted him with the extinguisher at the sign of a slight flame on his hair.

"Please, don't give him any ideas!" screams Lina.

"Why not?" asks Saki with a smirk. "A little fire never hurt anyone...or at least not me."

"Can it, evil water demon cat girl," Lina says annoyed.

"I've always wondered, how can you be an evil cat who is obsessed with water?" asks Xellos.

"Just because..." answers Saki. "There's a side of me you have yet to see, Xelly-chan."

"I find that hard to believe," whispers Yurei under her breath. "Now, can Zel borrow your shampoo?"

"Depends, what are you going to give me?" asks Saki.

"Once my medicine kicks in again a highway to hell," says Yurei annoyed.

"Sorry, been there, done that," says Saki, but gives Zel the bottle anyway. Zel walks towards the bathroom and Yurei follows.

"I can handle this myself, thank you very much," says Zel annoyed with the whole morning and walks into the bathroom. Minutes later he comes out, and gang is occupied with a...take a wild guess... another fight of Saki and Lina.

"YOU ARE SO ANNOYING SAKI!!!" screams Lina.

"OH, I HAVEN'T EVEN BEGUN TO BE ANNOYING!" Saki screams and then starts to sing, "OH I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES! EVERYBODYS NERVES! EVERYBODYS NERVES! OH I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES AND IT GOES LIKE THIS!"

"LET ME AT HER! LET ME AT HER!" screams Lina but is held back by Gourry and Amelia. In turn, Reiyu and Xellos hold Saki, and Reiyu is try to gag her to stop her from singing, but is failing miserably.

"Are you getting this on camera, Reiyu?" asks Amelia.

"I'm trying to..." replies Reiyu.

"What are they fighting about this time?" asks Zelgadis. Yurei, the only one not engaged in the fight explains.

"Reiyu mentioned a creature that is a legend here that was nearly unbeatable, so Lina said how smart and how pretty she was and that would be enough to beat it so Saki said if she was so pretty why doesn't she have a boyfriend yet and so then she mentions how she and Gourry look so cute together, and you must have guessed the rest." Zelgadis sweatdrops.

"Saki never fails in angering anyone, she must have learned that from Xellos."

"Nope, she's been like that ever sense I've known her," replies Yurei. "So, Zel, you want to go and try to find that item to turn you human?"

"Fine, were wasting our time here anyway," Zelgadis answered as the two went out the door leaving the fight. Not that anyone realized they left. About ten minutes later Saki and Lina had calmed down (Not on their own, they eventually woke up Filia and Lioku and he had given them both sedatives) and they soon realized Zelgadis and Yurei were missing.

"They probably just went to find a magical object," said Saki tiredly on Xellos's lap. We obviously know that, but we don't know the half of it, so let us find them in this great big town in the middle of nowhere.

"Yurei, I know you have the powers to sense magical items, but do you have a clue where you are going?" asks Zelgadis.

"It should be around here somewhere...Oh, here we are!" she said and pointed towards a mall.

"NANI!!!"

Back at the house, the sedatives are unfortunately wearing off. The gang cannot decide what to do.

"How about we go out for breakfast," asks Reiyu.

"FOOD!!!" screamed Gourry and Lina in unison.

"I should have guessed," said Lioku. "I'm going to stay here for breakfast."

"Me too," said Filia. "These restaurants here don't serve tea! It's a travesty!" sweat drop from everyone.

"Xellos and I are staying too, we have some business to attend to," said Saki with a grin.

"I don't even want to know," says Filia.

"Good, because I'm not telling you," says Saki, "You can find out for yourself."

"Okay, lets go, the sooner we leave, the sooner we get to have food!" yells Lina, and everyone but Gourry and Reiyu (Who unless you haven't guessed is another one who is obsessed with food) sweatdrops. The group then vanishes out the door.

(Back to Zelgadis and Yurei)

"Let's eat," says Yurei she brings over a plate with two coffees' and a bag of doughnuts.

"This is ridiculous," says Zelgadis, commenting on where Yurei has decided an item is.

"I know, $12.50 for coffee and doughnuts," says Yurei feeling ripped off.

"You spent $12.50 on this!" screams Zelgadis.

"Hey, it wasn't like it was my money, I got it from your pants," she replied.

"What were you doing in my pants?" asks Zelgadis (they both look paranoid from that last, very wrong sounding question.) It wasn't that wrong. (Maybe to you.)

"I don't remember," answers Yurei, "All I know is that I was very high on medication." Minutes later Yurei screams.

"What's wrong?" asks Zelgadis.

"I just remember why I went through your pants..."

"And?"

"Believe me; you do not want to know."

Later

"Where in the world are we going to find a magical item here?" Zel says.

"Here you go," says Yurei, handing him a thing that looks like a water gun.

"You have got to be kidding me!" screams Zelgadis with a sweat drop on his head.

"Are you questioning my powers?" asks Yurei.

"Yes," says Zelgadis. "If this thing is a magical object, what does it do?"

'Uh...see, that's the thing...I don't know," replies stuttering. A sweat drop and irritated look forms on Zelgadis face.

"Stop, you two are under arrest!" the two turn to see security guards around them.

"Zel, what are we going to do?" asked Yurei while holding onto his neck much too tightly.

"...C-cant...breathes..." stutters Zelgadis as the two are taken away.

Xellos and Saki are seen in the hot springs/Saki's room (And let me guess not on opposite sides?) How did you know? (It's your character, what's not to know?) Saki is in a skimpy light blue bikini and Xellos has black swimming trunks on- but not for long (It figures)Mwhahaha

"Xellos, did you forget to get the martinis?" asked Saki she is what you would call a drink-a-holick.

"Yes," answers Xellos sadly.

"What kind of servant to the Lord of Nightmares are you!" screams Saki. Saki face faults and smacks Xellos. She then gets up dripping wet and goes into the house and opens a cabinet. Filia walks in.

"Saki, what are you doing! You're dripping over Lioku clean floor!" Filia screams.

"Put in a sock in it Filia!" screams back Saki. "I'm not like you kissing his ass every time just so you can get extra!" Filia scowls.

"What are you doing anyway?" asks Filia.

"I'm counting the muffins," said Saki sarcastically. "I'm getting my alcohol dumbass!" Filia open her mouth but Saki stopped her. "No you can't have any!" Filia said something under her breath and scurried off. Saki grabbed a case in the back well hidden by Lioku, but not enough to stop Saki and she ran back. She found Xellos playing with a rubrics cube. Saki sighed.

"What do you see in those things?" she asked.

"There interesting," says Xellos.

"But there annoying, you never win!"

"So what, there fun!"

"But you never win!"

"I don't care! Why are we fighting about a rubrics cube anyway?" Saki, now pissed grabbed the rubrics cube from Xellos. An idea then popped into her head. You can actually see the light pop over her head. It then flickers and goes out. In Sakis hand appears another light bulb and she tosses the other one away nearly hitting Xellos in the head

"Hey!" he screams.

"Heheehee," Saki smirks. Then she replaces it. Xellos is sweat dropping. Saki runs inside and comes back out, the rubrics cube in her hand. She runs up to a person Just put there because it's the middle of nowhere the narrator who created her put it there, hehe and she says, "Here you go, a present." She then runs away, and while doing so, snaps her fingers and she is seen in an army outfit. She then snaps her fingers again and a brick wall is seen, she then jumps behind it. "INCOMING!" she screams and the rubrics cube explode and the person is shot through the air like a cannon Shibby. Saki is rolled over laughing. Saki then snaps her fingers together and her bathing suite appears again. She then goes back to the hot springs.

"What were you doing?" asked Xellos.

"You don't want to know," says Saki.

"Yes I do."

"Okay, I wanted to try a little experiment so I put a bomb in the rubrics cube and gave it to some pathetic guy in the street on the street so they'd shoot to the sky and I'd pee my pants." Xellos is sweat dropping.

"So..." Saki said.

"..."

"So..."

"..."

"So..."

"..." Xellos gets up and picks up Saki (I didn't know he was that strong) Shut up and rubs her stomach and she purrs. Minute's later loud music is heard.

"I don't even want to know," says Filia.

(Now behind bars, Yurei is seen playing a harmonica, Zel has his arms crossed and is whistling, Yurei is singing)

"I'm sittin behind bars dodo and I am very bored, dodo I'm so bored now I don't know what to do dododo...I love my Zelgadis and I know he loves me to."

"No I don't!" screams Zelgadis.

"Yes you do!" screams Yurei and starts singing again.

"Were in the hell did you get that harmonica anyway?" asks Zelgadis.

"From that guy over there."

"What guy?"

"That guy!" she points over to the corner and Zelgadis sees the Skelton of a man wearing a straw-hat and a pipe in his teeth and turns pale. "Don't worry, I cleaned it!"

"I'm stuck with I girl high on medication," says Zelgadis under his breath. "Somebody get me out of here!"

"Oooh, I still have that thing!"

"What thing?"

"That thing!"

"Not this again," says Zelgadis.

"That water gun-thingy!" She then takes it out of her costume. "I wonder what it is."

"You kids shut up in there!" screams the guard.

"Nobody screams at me or my Zelly!" she points the gun and fires it. The guard is turned into a chibi and his keys fall towards the door.

"How convenient," says Zel as he picks up the keys and opens the door. "Come on," he says to Yurei, dragging her out as she screamed

"CHIBI!"

"We have to get you off that medication," says Zelgadis.

"It's my muffin!"

"No, it's my muffin!"

"My muffin!"

"My muffin!"

As you have probably figured we are now at a restaurant and Lina and Gourry are fighting over a muffin. Eventually Lina is beating Gourry over the head "MY MUFFIN!" Poor Reiyu, being the extremely hyper and naïve one takes the muffin off the plate and eats it very quickly and is then attacked by Lina and Gourry Poor, poor boy.

One Hour Later

Zelgadis and Yurei walk through the door panting. Filia is sipping on tea and the music is now off. Saki is heard laughing and Lioku is in his room listening to music on his headphones. Yurei is staring with a blank look on her face.

"What happened here?" Zelgadis asks Filia. She stared up at him.

"What?"

"What happened here?"

"What?"

"WHAT HAPPENED HERE?"

"WHAT!"

"TAKE THE COTTON BALLS OUT OF YOUR EARS!" he screamed.

"MAKING CANNON BALLS TOOK THREE YEARS!" she asked.

"NO, TAKE THE COTTON BALLS OUT OF YOUR EARS!"

"Oh," then she took the cotton balls out of her ears.

"Why do you have cotton balls in your ears?" She then motioned to the door and more laughing is heard. "Oh." Yurei is still standing there.

"Where am I, who am I, who are you people!" Yurei says depressed. Yurei then sees Filia and Zelgadis. She takes the gun out of her costume and shoots them both into chibi's. Lioku opened the door and startled his sister (who was high on medication) no duh, and not thinking shoots him with the gun and turns him into a chibi. Silence is now only heard. Eventually Saki opens the door to the spring, and a startled Yurei shoots at her but nothing happens. Yurei sweat dropped.

"I don't get it-you're supposed to turn all small." Saki grabbed the gun out of Yurei hand and whacked her in the head with it.

"I'm already the queen of the chibi's-yah dimwit."

"Saki, I'm getting lonely!" Xellos is heard yelling out of the spring room. Saki looks evilly and stares into the room.

"To bad, you have come out here now, this is too funny," replies Saki. "But first, put some clothes on!" Moments later he comes out, wearing clothes. (Thank the Lord of Nightmares) Yeah...right Mumble, Mumble He starts cracking up laughing and falls on the floor. Yurei, stunned looks at them and says,

"Who are you people?"

"Medication?" asks Saki.

"Yep."

Moments later Saki starts chasing the chibi's around. Everyone who is not a chibi even Yurei? (Even Yurei) sweatdrops. Not long after, Gourry, Lina, Reiyu, and Amelia come through the door and scare Yurei (as you can tell is not a very smart thing to do) and she shoots them into chibi's.

"Oooh, more fun!" screams Saki and starts chasing them as well. Soon, even Saki tires of this and sat down on a couch. The chibis were in the far corner, cowering in fear. Xellos then asked Saki

"Are you done playing yet?"

"Yeah," Saki eventually answers. The chibis cheer.

"No, I'm not done playing yet, Zelgadis," says Yurei. Sweatdrops come from everyone's head and Zelgadis blushes and looks irritated. That sounds so wrong (If this is coming from you, it must be) Saki quivers.

"That's wrong, even to me! Water cannon!" Saki screams and Yurei is drenched in water. She now looks irritated for she is clueless to what is going on and Saki rolls over in laughter. Lina becomes angry.

"Turn us back into our original forms now! Everyone is bigger than me now!"

"I was already bigger than you," says Gourry.

"Shut up, dumbass!"

"I actually like this, except being chased around by Saki-san," says Reiyu. Sweatdrops form on all the chibis heads.

"All that's happened to us is being chased around by Saki!" screams Zelgadis.

"Oh yeah." Face faults. Yurei eventually wakes up from her encounter with the water.

"What? What happened?" she turns to the chibis. "Zel, why are you so small? Has my dream come true?"

"What is your dream?" Zel asks her paranoid.

"Oh, nothing." Quivering in fear ( Smile ) She then smirks. "Now, what happened?"

"You want to know?" asks Saki.

"Yeah."

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah."

"Well too bad, I'm not telling." Yurei whimpers and Saki laughs and Xellos turns to Saki.

"Now that you've had your fun, don't you think you should turn them back sometime today?"

"Yes!" screamed all but one chibi.

"No!" screamed Reiyu who unless you are a true idiot was the one who hadn't said yes

After much pause Saki eventually answers "...Yes."

"Yes!" screams all the chibis but Reiyu.

"No!" screams Reiyu.

"_Of the spirit of dark and light,"_ Saki _chants "above the heavens to the twilight, I call upon you for this power I need, Cause all the forces in my way to heed. De-chibify!"_ the next second blue light shoots from Sakis hand and all the chibis grow to their original form; except Lina. Gourry picks her up and says

"Oooh, a pocket sized Lina," and put her in his pocket. Everyone sweatdrops. Yurei, who has thought this was a dream, eventually can't take any more of this insanity and passes out on the floor. Eventually everyone stares at Yurei. Xellos then stares at Saki.

"Hmm."

"Hmm." Saki replies.

"Want to do something?"

"Okay." Xellos then picks up Saki and the two disappear.

"Hey, you can't leave me here like this!" screams Lina sticks her head out of Gourry pocket. Not that either of them heard her. Soon a voice from nowhere says

"What did you say Lina?" Eventually Saki appears out of nowhere. Lina mumbles something under her breath. "What was that?"

"Teammates are supposed to come before love life!" screams Lina.

"Oh, really?" questions Saki. She turns to Xellos. "Should I?"

"Yes," he replies "Make the poor girl happy."

"Fine." Blue light comes out of Sakis finger and hit Lina, who falls out of Gourry's pants and returns to her normal size. Eventually Reiyu says,

"Should we leave her there like that?"

"Who, Lina?" asks Saki.

"No, I mean Yurei. That position she is in on the floor does not look comfortable." Indeed, she was sprawled out on the carpet face-first. Eventually Saki asks Xellos

"Should we do something?"

"Nah I think she's capable of helping herself." He then picked up Saki.

"Take me away, oh mysterious one!" Saki says happily. Xellos and Saki disappear, not showing any signs of coming back. The group eventually looked at Yurei and knew they should do something. They all stared at Zel. He sweat dropped.

"Fine, I'll do it!" Man, if you didn't know Zelgadis that wouldn't sound right! And picked up Yurei. He then decided to take her to her room. Yurei woke up when they were in her room and saw he was holding her.

"Oh, Zelgadis, take me away from this world!" and she kissed him. He blushed violently, placed her on her bed and scurried out of her room (he couldn't go very fast, she had plants covering her entire room, hence she is the element of earth). Yurei stared at her door and sobbed. How could she ever get Zelgadis to like her? She then had an idea and went to work. She placed her scythe on her back onto her dresser and then took out many scrolls. She placed them around her room and on her door. She then went into her walk-in closet and came back out fully dressed in a black and white kimono. She then kneeled at the door, holding her hands together as though she were praying. _"Between heaven and hells chamber, below and above this world, wake from your eternal slumber, and cast your shadow on your cruel non forgiving world!"_ By now the room had begun to shake and wind came spraying in through the windows. _"YUREI RESSURECTION!"_ second later, her scrolls shinned bright whites and blacks and then a form came through her door. This form had on a dark purple kimono with dark blue hair and dark blue eyes Dark blue. She had no feet and was wearing the same Yurei headband as Yurei herself. The girl opened her eyes and looked around.

"Huh? What's going on?" she said in an echoing voice.


	2. Enter Mari!

Disclaimer: like I keep saying, I don't own Slayers!! –starts to cry-

Hello everyone, did you like it so far? Well if you don't yet then you will. Have I ever lied to you??.... well maybe that one time but it was an accident!!!! Plez believe me!!

Episode Two: Enter Tamika, the Tragic Hanyou Spirit

She then turned to Yurei. "Hello Yurei, it's been awhile. When was the last time you resurrected me, it must be two three years in my time? "

"I swear it was one at most, Mari," answered Yurei. "Look, Mari, I have a favor to ask of you."

"Oh yeah sure, you forget about me for a year then suddenly out of the blue resurrect me from a deep sleep just to mooch off of me? You are so.... cruel."

"I' m sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude, and it's just that I have been... preoccupied with something."

"What?" Yurei led her to the door and they both stuck their heads out it. For once, all the other people (besides Xellos and Saki, who is only the lord of nightmares knows were they are) no, she doesn't were just engaged in conversation while playing a game of scrabble. Yurei pointed.

"Whoa! Not really a showpiece, huh? " asked Mari.

"What in the hell are you talking about?!" screamed Yurei, who then lowered her voice.

"Oh, I see common symptoms of lovesickness!" said Mari. "What's his name?"

"Zelgadis," answered Yurei.

"Yurei and Zelgadis sittin in a tree, KISSING," sang Mari.

"I wish," Yurei said depressed. Mari sweat dropped.

"So I take you two aren't an item, as they would say?"

"Not even close. But Mari... The thing is...I think I'm in love. No it's not an infatuation I am really in love! He has been one of the few people who has ever been kind to me no matter what, ever sense we met."

"I feel a flashback coming on," said Mari. Lord of Nightmares do I hate flashbacks)

FLASHBACK

Yurei is running through the woods, panting and racing. She is scared to death and it doesn't make matters any better that she is being chased around by a possessed human. Right...

"COME HERE, QUEEN OF THE DEAD SOULS! I ONLY WISH TO USE YOUR BODY TO POSSES!" That does not sound right (It would even sound worse if he didn't add those last two words) Yurei was scared, for although she was the queen of Yurei's she could not control what they should do should they posses her. But she could not very well attack a helpless human. This was not their fault. All this rushed to her when she tripped and fell to the ground. She found that she could not get up and was soon staring into the cold dead eyes of the human. Those eyes. She always saw them and they were a constant reminder of how being possessed by spirits can feel. Not being in control of yourself and your destiny. She fainted.

Yurei could barely hear a voice asking her if she was alright.

"Are you alright?" Obviously She looked up and saw what she should remember as kind, gentle, dark blue eyes looking at her own purple with concern as he placed a rag drenched with cold water to her burning forehead.

END FLASHBACK Wow, you are so smart

"I knew there would be a flashback." Mari thought for a moment, looked evilly away from Yurei and then turned back with a smile. "Okay, I'll help you."

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you," said Yurei, bowing at Mari's feet (well, technically she doesn't have feet) and hugging them How can she do that if Mari has no feet?) (She the Queen of the Yurei's, she can do whatever she wants) Except for Zelgadis (Yes that is an exception)

"Hey, hey you don't need to kiss my feet! Or my tail! Whichever comes first!" says Mari.

"Okay, let's get started," said Yurei as a mass of vines entangled her. "You can be me and I'll take some of the day off from the world of the living. _The world of the living, except this trapped soul from the dead! Let this soul that has been mourning from its own killing, let it live once again without its dread! Yurei integration and soul separation!" _Light and darkness at the same time surrounded Yurei and Mari. Their hair lifted and glowed a heavenly white. (It was quite a light show indeed.) Are either of them overweight because if they aren't that as you know would make perfect sense. (Sweat drop) In a matter of seconds it was all over. Yurei's spirit was floating around free while Mari was inside Yurei's body. Lord of Nightmares does that sound wrong! (I know)

"Well see yah later," said Yurei, turning to go.

"Were are you going?" asked Mari.

"I'm a ghost and no one can see me. Your bet is I'm going to have fun!" (No not that kind of fun) Why not? "Bye, bye!" Yurei then went through the door and disappeared. Mari looked down.

_Sorry Yurei, she thought, I just can't stand these clothes. How can you? There puke green!_ Mari walked into Yurei's closet and then came back out wearing a whole new outfit; a yellow long shirt tied together with a brown belt with short sleeves a long sleeve shirt with light blue and purple stripes under it and matching pants with a matching bandanna and yellow boots. (But don't take it from me; I am horrible at describing.) _That's a bit better. Now for the hair. _She then opened the window and jumped out; trying to avoid the others in the house until her new outfit was complete.

"Woahoo! Party time!" said Yurei, though no one could hear her. She sat on top of the couch just above Filia and Lioku and had a brilliant idea.

Just then Filia screamed, "Lioku, that word should not be in there! It's obscene and wrong!"

"But I can use it in a sentence 'Don't let me die a 'virgin!'" Lioku said defending himself.

"That's your catchphrase isn't it?" said Lina sarcastically though speaking the truth.

"What's a virgin?" asked Reiyu who received sweatdrops from the crew.

"When do you plan to explain these things to him?" asked Zelgadis.

"When Yurei goes through puberty," answered Lioku.

"I have been going through puberty, thank you very much," said a now very agitated Yurei. "If Saki was here she would probably say nobody likes Lina so she should shut up but sense she isn't here...LINA NOBODY LIKES YOU SO SHUT THE HELL UP!" she waited for a moment, "HEY! CANT YOU HEAR ME!" she then whispered, "Oh yeah, I'm a ghost. That's probably the only downside to being a ghost...I can't annoy anyone...Or maybe I can..." She then got down off the couch, crouched down closed her eyes and unbuckled Filia's mace. Wow, wrong picture. Fortunately Filia was already occupied with the fact that Lioku's hand was crawling up her leg. She reached down for her mace but could not find it.

"Mace-sama? Mace-sama where are you? What the...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Continues for several lines but was deleted so your ears would not burst.

"Filia what's wrong? I didn't know you wanted me that badly..." he then saw the mace floating in midair towards him. "Okay, okay Filia I can take a hint."

"I am not doing that...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Yet again deleted. She grabbed onto Lioku's neck and fell into his lap.

"I don't know what's going on, but I like it!" Lioku said happily. He was then hit with the mace, square in the forehead. He fell back and Filia fell onto him making them both into a quite interesting position. Throughout this whole time Filia was screaming.

"Take that, my sick minded brother!" said Yurei. "Lord of the Nightmares is it great to be a ghost!" she then bonked Filia on the head just for the thrill of it and to shut her up. She then ran across the room to Lina. Lina though very confident in her abilities is not stupid and knows something must be extremely wrong when an object is following you. She ran with Reiyu laughing at this sherade. The rest who had not been hit sweat dropped. But not even Lina could outrun a being who never gets tired or slows down and is eventually bonked over the head. Yurei, just feeling she wishes to make Saki happy but annoyed that she hadn't done it beats Lina many times until Gourry as Lina's protector tries to grab the mace. It is quite funny, considering for the next few minutes the two are pulling on it and it looks as though Gourry is fighting with air. However the bout goes to Yurei when she accidentally pushes the end of the mace smack into Gourry's...painful spot. He lets go, and she gains control and hit him once on the back of the head for trying to protect Lina. She then notices that Amelia is in Zelgadis arms choking him and greatly annoying her with that high pitched squeal.

"You're worse than me! Leave Zelgadis alone you freak-a-nature!" she says as she smacks Amelia in the head. Of course she has to smack her quite a few times until she stops screaming and a few more until Zelgadis can breathe again. She then looks around the room. The only people left who she has not hit is Zelgadis; she would die herself and go to hell before she would let anything happen to him even if it was done by herself and Reiyu; her poor loveable older brother by about thirty seconds (Believe me the Lings are cannon balls ready to go off). She decided she had done her share of beating today. She handing Zelgadis the mace, who took it confused and then went out the door. She even opened and closed it although she could have gone through the door. Zelgadis sweat dropped.

"Bye, bye!" said Reiyu as he waved at the door. "Zelgadis, I'm hungry!" Zelgadis sweat dropped even more.

Xellos and Saki were at a KFC eating chicken for lunch. Well at least Saki was eating chicken. Xellos put his hand on Sakis leg. She slapped it. "Not yet!" He put it there again. "Not yet." He did it once more. "NOT YET! I AM EATING CHICKEN HERE!" Soon Xellos was putting his hand up her dress. "WHAT ARE YOU DEAF? I KOW YOU"RE PATIENT ENOUGH TO WAIT AT LEAST UNTIL I'M DONE EATING AND KNOWING ME THAT WONT BE VERY LONG!" Eventually Xellos took a hint and stopped.

"Look a trick or treater!" the two turned around to see what in the world they were talking about.

"It's not even close to Halloween," said Saki with a sigh. "What people won't do for candy?"

"What you wouldn't do for chicken." Added Xellos.

"And what you wouldn't do for sex," Saki smirked.

"I know when I have been beaten," said Xellos.

The two then saw a white sheet walking around. This person was bumping around.

Unknown to the people the person was singing to "Casper the Friendly Ghost! The Friendliest ghost you know! And if Saki knew I was singing this song shed strangle my little throat!" Eventually the sheet wandered up to Sakis table, grabbed the chicken box and ran. But she kept bumping into things. Eventually, she took off the sheet to revile no one was their and jumped into a tree. The chicken box could be seen.

"Xellos get them! They stole my chicken!" Saki screamed. Xellos looked carefully at the nothingness that was chomping on Saki's food.

"Yurei! Yurei is that you?"

Yurei looked up surprised. "Shit you can see me?!"

"Yurei, I am so going to kill you!" said Saki shooting water cannons all over the place. One hit Yurei straight in the stomach sending her flying back into a bush. Saki ran and grabbed the chicken box. "I hope you know you're buying me more chicken! And if you don't I'll tell Zel the dream you had last night! How I love to hear people dream!"

Yurei looked surprised and frightened. "You wouldn't, would you?" she asked. "Anyway, I don't know how far you would get with this," she said as she handed Saki the invisible money. "Wait a sec, I know!" said Yurei gleefully. _"Invisible reappears!" _Seconds later the money could be see to the normal eye.

"Wow, that spell totally sucked," said Saki.

"Hey, I gave you the money didn't I? And anyway see how good of a spell you can come up with to reverse invisibility of money in less than two seconds," Yurei answered madly.

"That was more than two seconds," said Xellos holing up an hour glass. The two girls sweat dropped.

"Where in the world did you get that?" Yurei asked.

"Uh...internet," Xellos replied making the girls yet again sweat drop.

"I'm still telling Zel anyway," Saki said in superiority.

"Please No," said Yurei dropping to Saki feet. "You don't understand!"

"Understand what?" asked Saki.

"It just...Oh, you wouldn't understand..." said Yurei as she ran off.

"UNDERSTAND WHAT?" asked Saki yet again, hating to not know things.

"You feel like it now?" asked Xellos as he touched Saki's ass.

She thought for minute and then hit him in the head. "I'm going to buy more chicken," she said.

"Women and food..." Xellos snickered.

"What about women?" asked Saki.

"Oh, nothing..." said Xellos.

"YES YOU SAID SOMETHING!" screamed Saki who was already in a bad mood and kicked him.

"Ouch..."

Meanwhile Mari was at a hair salon, eating a muffin and staring at a T.V.

"Ow, don't pull so hard!" said Mari in between commercials. The show came back on.

"DARIAN NO!" she screamed when the show came back on. "How come Serena can get him? She so...Serena! She's a meatball head!" In case you're a total bonehead she is watching Sailor Moon.

"You realize you are talking to yourself huh?" asked the hair dresser.

"Oh shut the hell up!" yelled Mari. "Don't hate me because I am beautiful!" The hairdresser sweat drop. "Man, Darien is cute. I wish I could get into his head." Now everyone in the shop sweatdropped.

"I hope you know that Darien is much older than you, about twenty," said the hairdresser.

"Ah just shut up and do my hair! You know you want him too, but you can't have him 'cause your some mean old lady!" yelled Mari. The hairdresser pulled on Mari's hair. "See if I leave you a tip!" cussed Mari under her breath.

Yurei was now wandering around the town, teary-eyed. She couldn't very well tell Saki her deep and true feelings for Zelgadis-san Why not?(...). She eventually parked herself up in a tree and sobbed. She then saw a streak of blue. She looked up and brushed away tears. "Zelgadis-san!" she saw everyone besides Xellos and Saki were there, holding there heads- not including Zel and Reiyu. "Well, I didn't know I smacked them that hard." Reiyu came over with food for everybody - at least not what he had not eaten on the way. Zelgadis looked up and his eyes became huge. A girl was walking over to them with (sense I don't feel like typing this again think Mari's outfit) and white- yes white hair. (No more black for Yurei.)

"Yurei...Yurei is that you?" asked Zelgadis.

"Of course dim... uh I mean yes it is, my dear Zelgadis." Mari answered quickly which sounded so polite it nearly made Yurei throw up.

"What happened to you?" asked Reiyu.

"Yeah, looks like you got in a fight with bleach and won," added Lioku, laughing.

"Shut the hell up...however you are," said Mari. Yurei shook her head. Mari was going to blow her cover already.

"Ahhhhhh!" (Continues for several lines) Lina screamed. Saki showed up behind her laughing. Lina turned. "Saki! What the hell did you do that for?" she asked.

"To scare the heck out of you and piss you off, why else?" answered Saki cracking up. She then noticed an unfamiliar outfit in front of her. "Whoa Yurei, what did you do, get stuck in a mix of tie dye and then in a mix-a bleach?" she asked.

"What happen to you? Did your mom fuck a cat?" asked Mari, knowing right away she would hate this girl. "Or was your mom just not good enough to fuck someone of her own race?"

Saki ran over to Mari and using her claws and fists, started beating the crap out of her. Eventually Lina and Gourry ran behind Mari and tried to pry her away from Saki and Xellos tried to pull Saki away from Mari. Eventually they succeeded but not without Mari having four scratches in her neck. At that moment, she spotted Xellos. Dun, dun, dun Mari's eyes widened.

Yurei still up in the tree said, "Ouch those are going to hurt in the morning. What is Mari trying to do? Kill me!"

Meanwhile Zelgadis was thinking. "Wow, I never imagined Yurei would say something like that to Saki. Nobody says that to Saki considering what she did to Lina the first time she ever said anything like that."

Saki turned to him. "What is this, turn-on?" she asked.

At that minute Mari forgot she was not herself. "Hey, what the hell is your name?"

Saki turned, "You know very well my name is Saki yah dumbass! Don't start giving me special treatment just because what I said this afternoon! You know very well I was kidding!"

Mari made a gagging look with her throat. "I have now put a curse on you Saki-chan! You shall not have a peaceful nights sleep until you properly apologize to me!" Zel walked over to Mari.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked as he put his hand on her forehead. Yurei knew she must do something fast. She raced over to Mari, avoiding the watchful eye of Xellos. "Wrap your arms around him and call him Zelly-poo," she coached. "He'll know you're-or rather I'm- alright then." Mari did just that.

"Well looks like she's back to normal," said Lina with a sigh. Zelgadis was blushing. You think he would get used to it by now. Eventually, the gang got lunch and started to eat. During this time, Mari was giving Xellos the evil eye and in turn Saki was giving the eye to Mari. Both were what you might say, were not very pretty pictures at the minute. Eventually when the gang was done eating, they decided to go home. Mari, however, follows close behind, basically on Xellos's heels. Saki looked at Mari and growled.

"What are you, part dog too?" Mari thought, not knowing at the moment that Saki could hear thoughts. Yurei, just above them, buried her head in her hands. Saki, hearing the comment, tried to attack Yurei, but was held back by Xellos. She gave up, and turned back angrily. While Saki was not listening to Mari thoughts, Mari thought, "Oh, so you protect me now of all times Xellos! When I am dead! It's your fault anyway!" Her eyes burned with hate, but then with tears which she tried to hold back. Not truly having a body (No, not like that) can play some cruel and unforgiving jokes on you. Eventually the gang returns home (Or at least the Lings and Saki's home). Saki went through the door first and dug into the fridge and grabbed a martini. Soon followed by Xellos who does the same exact thing. Yurei came through the door and motioned Mari into her room. She followed and Saki looked at her suspiciously. Yurei told Mari, "There is only so much I can take of being a ghost. Well both are residents of my body for a while. _The ghost that I have become, come one with my existing mind! No longer shall ghost or soul be glum, now two souls will become one and bind! Soul integration and no separation!"_ Yurei's hair once again glowed and so did her body and in matter of seconds, she was in her body once again with her new-roommate.

"Wow, this is too damn weird!" said Mari.

"I take it you have never been in a body with two souls huh?" asked Yurei.

"Obviously!" answered Mari. Yurei and Mari came out the door and back into the kitchen Mari told Yurei she wanted a muffin. Yurei did so and Saki said to her, "PUT DOWN MY MUFFIN!"

"You just let her boss you around like that?" asked Mari.

"That's just how Saki is...What can I say, she's my best friend," answered Yurei.

"THAT BITCH IS YOUR BEST FRIEND! HOW CAN YOU PUT UP WITH THAT?" Mari yelled and Yurei squinted her eyes.

"Saki's just always been like that. You just have to get to know her to see what a good person she is," Yurei said defensively.

"SURE WHATEVER. JUST AS LONG AS I DON'T HAVE TO BE HER FRIEND TO!" Mari screamed. Under her breath she muttered something. Yurei could barely make out the word of Xellos.

"What?" Yurei questioned but Mari did not hear her.

In the other room, the others were watching the FOOD channel.

Saki screamed, "How come you are watching the food channel! It's just going to make you hungry."

"I'm always hungry," Lina protested and Gourry agreed. Reiyu was to busy drooling over a turkey to pay attention.

"But it's just going to want you make food and then you'll make food and then you'll screw up your entire dinner." Saki said. Lioku screamed.

"Wow, I just had a dream that Saki and Filia were chasing me in chicken and muffin costumes and were tackling me. I didn't know either of them wanted me that badly. That was such a good dream." Sweat drop Filia then hit Lioku with her mace sending him flying into a wall. Yurei came into the room.

"You realize if you break that wall you are paying for it," she said.

"But Lioku was talking in an obscene way," Filia said.

"Okay... Then he's paying for the new wall," she said as she purposely sat between Amelia and Zelgadis.

Mari, in Yurei's body, sighed and looked up at Xellos. Just the look of happiness on his face made her wish she could strangle him. She then heard Yurei yawn.

"Mari, I'm going to take a nap, okie-dokie?" Mari was confused.

"It's not even dark yet, why do you wish to take a nap now?" she asked her.

"Integrating and separating IS a good trick, but it takes a lot out of yah. Not to mention doing it twice in one day. I promise I'll wake up quickly, and if I don't, throw a bucket of water at me. That always works with Saki." Grr

"...But wouldn't you feel more comfortable separating so that little old I won't wake you up?" asked Mari, sounding a bit too pleading.

"Nah, I sleep like a bulldozer. Anyway, I'd feel much better if I woke to find that I was in my own body. Wrong thought Watch the port for me... please..." Yurei managed to get out before she fell asleep on the spot.

"Wow, I guess she was tired," whispered Mari with a sweat drop as she saw Yurei in a bed created by her own mind sucking her thumb and clinging onto a plushie of Zelgadis. Saki interrupted her thoughts.

"I'M GOING TO TAKE A BATH!" she screamed.

"WHY MUST YOU YELL?!" asked Mari also screaming quite annoyed.

"BECAUSE I AM THE GREAT SAKI AND EVERYONE WISHES TO KNOW WHAT I SHALL DO NEXT!" Saki laughed evilly.

"CAN I COME TOO?" asked Xellos cheerfully.

"NO! I'M CAN CLEAN MY OWN SELF THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" she said as she walked into the bathroom. Xellos sighed depressed and sweatdrops formed on everybody's head, even the sleeping Yurei. Soon Saki is heard singing.

"Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer! Not a trace, or doubt in my mind! I'm in love! I'm a believer I couldn't leave her if I tried!" Sweatdrops yet again form on everybody's head. Mari then gives Xellos the evil eye. She then cannot take his happiness anymore when she has been depressed for decades. She stood up and stood in front of Xellos. She then pointed and screamed.

"Traitor!" Xellos sweatdropped. Mari then repeated it again. "Traitor!" Xellos looked confused.

"Nani?" Mari could not take it anymore. She jumped and stomped up and down, her fits (Or shall we say Yurei's fist?) flying in the air. She looked like a two year old throwing a tantrum over a candy bar.

"TRAITOR! TRAITOR! TRAITOR! TRAITOR! TRAITOR!" she screamed pissed.

"Are you alright?" asked Lioku.

"Who are you and what have you done to my sister?" asked Reiyu petrified.

"Now I know I have never liked Xellos that much but this is ridiculous!" whispered Zelgadis. Xellos heard this comment, but it did not change the fact that he was starting to become scared of 'Yurei'. Mari then tried to throw a punch at him. At the last moment a voice shouted out.

"_Water cannon!"_ Mari was thrown back to the wall dazed. Saki stood in the doorway, wearing only a white fluffy towel.

Lioku fell to his knees. "The glory! The glory!" Sweatdrops come from everyone again. Zel shielded Reiyu's eyes from "The glory! The glory!"

Reiyu was confused. "What? What? What's going on?!" asked Reiyu. Zelgadis replied.

"You don't need to see. Kids these days get stimulated too quickly."

"No one wants to see that," added Lina.

"Aye men," concluded Filia.

"I don't get it," said Gourry.

"You wouldn't," commented Saki. She then turned to the splattered Mari (or in this case, Yurei) on the wall. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR PROBLEM LATELY? I'VE JUST HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU!" Saki then turned around and punched the wall.

"Why take it out on the wall? What has the wall ever done to you?" Gourry said to her.

"WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE ME TAKE IT OUT ON YOU?!" screamed Saki.

"No," answered Gourry quietly.

"Thought so," said Saki.

"I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOUR ATTIUDE! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM IS IT THAT TIME OF THE MONTH? OR ARE YOU SO OLD YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THE CHANGE ALREADY? EITHER WAY, I CANT STAND YOU! AND I WILL GET PAYBACK!" She then began to cast a spell that shocked everyone. _"Darkness beyond twilight,_

_Crimson beyond blood that flows..._

_Buried in the flow of time..._

_In thy great name,_

_I pledge myself to darkness!_

_Let all fools who stand before us is destroyed..._

..._By the power you and I possess!..." _she was then held back by Reiyu as Lioku screamed.

"NO! NOT IN THE HOUSE!" Mari was determined though.

She wiggled out of Reiyu grasp. _"DRAGON SLAVE!" _Just in the nick of time Reiyu pointed her upwards and the blast was sent through the roof.

"Uh...I hope you like skylights," said Xellos.

"I had no idea Yurei could do that," commented Zelgadis.

"She cant," said Saki, and everyone raised their eyebrow. "Okay, I'm going to take a shower now," said Saki.

"Can I help?" asked Xellos.

"All right, but no slapping my ass with the towel again," said Saki finally giving up. The two raced into the bathroom.

"I'm going to get some tea," said Filia and raced off into the kitchen.

"Yeah," commented everybody else. Then they all turned back to the T.V. Mari stood in front of the T.V.

"Hey did you forget something?" she asked and the others looked right past her. "Okay, now you're in for it, I hate being ignored. _LIGHTNING!"_ In a minute they all were electrocuted and the T.V. was fried.

"NO! COME BACK TO ME FOOD!" screamed Reiyu.

"I have a T.V. in my room you know," said Lioku.

"Yeh!" Reiyu screamed.

"Don't touch anything!...Or look in any drawers!" screamed Lioku behind him.

"Why?" asked Reiyu.

"Just because...don't!"

"Okay," said Reiyu obediently. For you people, who don't know why, shame on you! "Now, why did you fry MY T.V.?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" screamed Mari and sat down. They all looked at the crusty T.V.

"I'm hungry!" whined Gourry.

"We all knew that!" screamed Lina. Mari kept muttering traitor under her breath.

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP!" yelled Lina.

"DON'T EVEN PUSH ME! I CAN HAVE YOU ILLIMINATED WITH ONE CALL!" screamed Mari.

"NANI?" Mari, who wanted to be an asshole, did not explain. Mari sat, thinking. Her main purpose at the minute was to help Yurei, but she wished to stay much longer than that to seek revenge on Xellos. She finally decided that the best way to do that was to get Zelgadis to hate Yurei. She grabbed Zel.

"COME ON!" she said and pulled him out the door.

"NANI!" he whispered.

"Well, what do you suppose we should do now?" asked Filia.

"I know what we should do now," said Lioku with a grin. Filia once again whipped out her mace and hit him, sending him flying into the T.V. where he was even more barbequed than before.

"Hey!" they heard Reiyu call out.

"What? You didn't look in my closet either, did you?" asked Lioku as he pulled himself out of the T.V.

"No," hesitated Reiyu, "I was thinking why we don't watch the video that Amelia and I made?" The others looked at each other.

"Why not, it'll pass the time," Lina concluded.

"Unfortunately and surprisingly there is no VCR in my room," Lioku pointed out. The others then looked at the other T.V. The VCR below that remained intact!

"Well talk about luck," said Amelia and the others agreed. They then unplugged the machine and dragged it into Lioku's room but then they realized they had absolutely no clue in how to plug it back in. Saki and Xellos then came into the room and saw the others tied up in a mess of wires. They both greeted with,

"Sora wa himitnsu desu!" Saki then continued,

"What in the Lord of Nightmares name are you doing?"

"We are trying to plug the VCR in, but it's nearly impossible," Gourry answered. Saki then went over, untangled the gang and then in a few minutes flat had the VCR ready for action.

"How did you do that?"

"I am The All Knowing Saki! I know everything!"

"Then answer me this," said Lina, "Why is Yurei acting even stranger than usual? If she scares Reiyu, you realize something must be wrong."

"How the hell should I know what's wrong with her? She crazy and crazy people are the one and only thing I do not understand. Who knows? She might have seen you naked!" Saki replied.

"Yurei! What is the matter?!" cried out Reiyu who then began to cry.

"See what I mean?" said Saki. "And besides, the Lord of Nightmares would know anyway."

"When will you Jellyfish for brains get it through your thick head that I do not know these things!" yelled Lina. "If I did then what in the hell would have been the point of me asking you!"

Saki tackled her and scratched her face. She then got up. "You don't want me to turn you into a chibi again-do you?" she threatened. Lina backed down and Saki smiled at herself. At this time Reiyu had put in the video. The screen turned black.

"Press play!" screamed Saki.

"I already did!" said Reiyu, "I'm not an idiot."

"Sometimes I wonder," commented Lioku. The screen remained blank. Filia fast forwarded through it. They could hear voices-but they could not see a picture.

"Reiyu didn't take the tape-recorder cap off," she concluded.

"Yep, and it's your fault Amelia," Saki said evilly.

"How is it my fault?" she asked.

"You didn't remind him to take the cap off," Saki finished.

"And Saki needs to blame it on someone," said Xellos under his breath as Amelia began to cry and he and Saki laughed.

As we return to the two on the street Mari was still dragging Zelgadis through town-literally. Finally she let go of him and he started to walk on his own. Mari then attempted to take his hood off. He held onto it and she hit him in the head-though causing only pain for herself.

"What are you doing Yurei? You know how I feel about people seeing me," he whispered to her.

"I don't really care! Why hide yourself all your life-like I did from Xellos." The last part she barely whispered.

'Okay,' thought Zelgadis, 'It doesn't take a genius to realize something is terribly wrong with Yurei. When it comes to feelings, she is probably the most sensitive one in the book and even stranger, she has always for some reason been sensitive to my feelings. I hope it nothings wrong.' He then stopped with 'Yurei' as she saw a cat. It meowed and meowed at her.

"LEAVE YOU PESKY HAIRBALL ON FOUR LEGS!" she screamed, causing the attention of everyone within that block and many others to direct their attention at her, "I HAVE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH FROM YOUR KIND FOR ONE DAY OR MORE LIKE THE REST OF MY AFTERLIFE!" The cat hissed at her and scurried away. She then thought of something. _Animals can feel the human spirit and must know when one is not in its proper place...Could that witch Saki possibly know...No, she is inferior, and besides...her mind is in the gutter with Xellos... _Just the thought of the traitor made her kick a trashcan and send it flying into the street.

"Yurei," Zelgadis whispered, "What is wrong with you? People are staring at us."

"They can stare all they want because their not staring at me, their staring at you. Do you realize how stupid you look wearing a hood in the heat season. And honestly, I don't care if they stare at me 'because I'll poke their eyes out. Believe me I am not in the mood today!" Mari then thought a minute and grinned. "Zelgadis lets go to the beach!"

"Why?' he asked.

"Because its fun! And I'm hot! And did I mention I'm HOT!"

"But I don't want to go!"

"Well too damn bad you're going anyway!" Mari then grabbed him by his cape and dragged him as he chocked and tried to resist her pull. Eventually they got to the beach. She dragged him over to the changing station and magically appeared black-silky boxers.

"Here, put these on!"

"No."

"Why, would you rather go naked 'cause that wouldn't bother me at all." Zelgadis sweatdropped blushed and face faulted all at the same time Wow, what a Gemini; wait I'm a Gemini! Heheehee. He then grabbed them and ran into the changing station. Minutes later, he came out in his cloak.

"Where is your bathing suit?" she questioned.

"I'm wearing it. You said I had to wear it, you never said it had to be seen." Mari looked angrily.

"Oh-a smart alick that bends the rules-must you remind me of Xellos-you are making me sick." She then went into the women's changing room. She then called "Set up our spot!" she snapped her fingers and on Zelgadis fell two chairs, towels, umbrella and plenty of stuff they really didn't need. Zelgadis picked up the pile and sighed.


	3. The Truth about Tamika

Disclaimer: why do I have to keep doing this?? But anywho, I don't own Slayers

Episode 3: The Truth About Tamika

Back to the gang who was sitting on Lioku's bed LISTENING to the tape. Filia then comment, "This is so pointless. I'm going to get some tea." She then went out of the room. Saki then took her spot-next to Lina. Saki then said,

"He's looking at you."

"Who?" asked Lina.

"Gourry," answered Saki. "He likes you."

"Shut up."

"He likes you and you like him. Heeheeheeheehee." Lina then blushed.

"I do not!"

"You can use my room if you want and if you nice to me I'll let you have some martinis-to put you in the mood." Eventually Saki was smacked by Lina. Saki smiled and went back to her original place and whispered something in Xellos's ear. He then went over to Gourry.

"Hey," he whispered, "She's looking at you."

"Who?" Gourry asked.

"Lina. She likes you-cant yah tell?"

"She does?"

"Yes, and I believe you should ask her to go into Saki's room and you can borrow martinis from Saki...to put you in the mood. Heeheeheeheehee." Gourry then smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah," said Xellos, who laughed and anyone-well almost anyone- could tell he was drunk- and so was Saki, if you looked and saw she was twiddling her thumbs smiling.

Eventually Mari comes out of the changing in a skimpy purple bikini that made Zelgadis's eyes popped out of his head.

"Wow, Yurei! I never imagined you'd wear that. Saki got it for your birthday but I figured you would have burnt it but now!" Zel commented, eyes still out.

FLASHBACK

"Happy Birthday Yurei and Reiyu!" everyone cried (Everyone being the Slayers and Elementals).

"Yurei!" said Saki holding out a gift. "I got you something for your birthday and it isn't martinis this time! It might come in use. I got you martinis-but I drank them anyway." Yurei opened the package and pulled out a skimpy frilly purple bikini.

"What is this?" asked Yurei.

"A muffin holder. But if you don't have any muffins Ill keep it," Saki replied.

"Saki and her muffins..." Yurei commented.

"Can I ask a dumb question?" asked Reiyu.

"Better than anyone I know," said Lioku.

"That doesn't look much like a muffin holder to me," Reiyu continued.

"And the muffins you make look more like cat food," said Lioku.

"Hey, you better not are dissing cat food!" screamed Saki.

"Hey, this is my gift we are talking about here!" whined Yurei.

"You better not be dissing muffins either!" yelled Saki. "The only thing that is holding me down is this chair!"

"How can a chair hold you down?" asked Reiyu.

"It's an expression numb nut!" Saki screamed. Everyone sweat drop.

"Yeah, you all sweat drop! See what happens!" Saki yet again screams.

"What'll happen?" asked Lina.

"My foot will meet your ass. My foot has been dying to do that." And from these word another intense battle between Saki and Lina was commenced and thought it all everyone sweatdropped.

END FLASHBACK

At this time 'Yurei' was pulling on Zelgadis's cloak, trying to rip it off while Zelgadis was pulling it back which made it stay.

Meanwhile the real Yurei was in her head talking in her sleep, hugging her plushie of Zel so tightly the eyes were about to pop out. "Ummm, fried shark on a stick...uuuuuu...with fries on the side..." just then a flash of light hit and Mari finally managed to pull Zel's cloak off. A large; okay lets stop being polite; FAT, HUGE, ELEPAHNTIS LIKE Done now? (Yep) lady screamed,

"SHARK!" An old man, who was possibly her husband then screamed,

"AHH! YOU GOT SAND IN MY FRIES!" All the people on the beach cleared out and Mari whined.

"Aww, no one saw him."

"Yes, no one saw me!" said Zelgadis happily.

"Man I'm thirsty," said Saki as we all know we are back to the gang.

"Saki, you're always thirsty," said Gourry.

"Yeah and you're always ugly. What's your point!?" shot back Saki who then got up and surprisingly got a nonalcoholic drink. (Wow, I guess there a first for everything)

"Man I'm tired," said Xellos.

"Why are you tired?" Saki asked him.

"I don't know," he replied.

"Ahh, how many drinks have you had?" Saki asked him.

"I don't know...One, two, twenty?" he replied. Saki sighed and grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room.

"I'm hungry," whined Reiyu, "I'm going to make a pop tart now."

"Wow, you can make your own food?" asked Lina. "Now I don't have to make you food anymore."

"I only know how to work the toaster oven." Reiyu replied. "I am going to get my pop tart now."

"You do that," said Lina behind him. So, everyone is gone except Lina, Gourry and Amelia.

"Where's Lioku?' Amelia asked. Silence. "Oh there. Well I'm going to get some tea."

"What is up with tea now?!" asked Lina. In the background Filia is screaming,

"You better not be dissing tea!"

"It's good," replied Amelia. "Im gonna get my tea now."

"Thanks for being so informative like Saki and Reiyu!" she called behind her. Now only Lina and Gourry remained in the room.

"Where is Lioku?" asked Lina.

"I think he followed Filia when she went to get tea," said Gourry.

"Oh." Gourry was thinking. _Should I do it? Shouldn't I do it? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. _Ended thought. Wow he thinks a lot. "Remember the time, you killed the Hell master?"

"Yeah, why?" she asked.

"Cause..." he said in a very shy voice. Just then Gourry leans over and kisses Lina and surprisingly she kisses back. Then they break the kiss.

"What did you do that for?" asked Lina.

"I was paying you back," he replied.

"For what?" asked Lina. (Wow and I thought Gourry was stupid. What do you think?) I don't know, were narrators, we can make conversations and comments all the time...what do you think I'm thinking of? (I know.) Just then laughter is heard from the other room.

"Let's watch it again! Let's watch it again!" Saki called. Just then Lina looks up and sees a spy camera.

"Let's watch it again! Let's watch it again!" The two then screamed Narrator 1's favorite word.

"NANI!" (Heheehee) Lina then ran out and tried to strangle Saki who was still laughing her ass off.

Mari and Zelgadis are walking down the street. Mari scowls.

"Where are we going?" asks Zel.

"I don't know wherever my feet take me!" she shot out.

"It looks like were going home."

"If that's where my feet are taking me then yes!" They eventually get there and stare at the house. Screams are heard.

"Ha, my plans are working wonderfully," Mari cackled.

"What plan?" asked Zel.

"You never mind!" yelled Mari. They then walk into the house and saw Saki is floating in the air, trying to scratch the nothingness holding her up.

"Let go of me you ominous queer cloud thingy that's underneath me!" screamed Saki.

"You can't touch her!" yelled Xellos from the other side of the room. "Especially there!"

"Yeah, I'm his property, not yours!" she screamed.

Back in her dream cloud Yurei was dreaming of herself on the throne as her Queen of the Yurei's position. She screamed. "Yurei, I wish to see you!" Wow, nothing like calling yourself the Yurei came to her. "I will not have any of this disobedience to humans or demons. I order you to work in the soldier camp for when we do control the world!"

"But..."

"No butts especially not Zelgadis's whom I have claimed!" she was now in soldiers outfit. "Now... MOVE, MOVE MOVE!" The Yurei dropped Saki and left with a sweat drop on its head. "Umm...green Jell-O." A jell bowl popped in her dream cloud and caught Saki's fall.

"Oh mysterious green Jell-O I love you!" said Saki who began eating it.

"Can I have some?" asked Xellos.

"No MY green Jell-O!" Saki screamed. Then after two bites Saki said, "You can have it. To much green and not enough Jell-O." In a minute Gourry, Reiyu and Lina ran into the room and a minute later it was gone.

"I didn't even get a bite..." Xellos whined.

"Well, you didn't run fast enough, now did you?" Gourry said. Xellos yawned.

"See..." said Saki. "If you ate Jell-O you would be up all night and you would keep me up all night."

"Why can't I keep you up all night?" asked Lioku.

"NO." said Saki. "Now go to bed." Xellos then disappeared. The group then heard a ringing noise.

"AHHHH! WHAT IS THAT!" screamed Mari.

"Fire alarm, dunce..." said Lioku. Reiyu came into the living room.

"Lioku, Yurei, we have a problem." The group ran into the kitchen and the toatseroven was on fire. Saki Water gunned it and Lioku Hurricaned it. They then saw a black figure in it.

"What is that?" Mari asked.

"My pop tart," said Reiyu. He then picked it out of the toaster and ate it. "Umm, charred flavored."

"What is your problem!" screamed Lina. "You nearly set the house on fire and then only care about the pop tart!"

"Leave the poor kid alone!" screamed Saki.

"He's a Jelly for brains!"

"You know you would have done the same thing." While the two were screaming, Reiyu escaped into the comfort of the living-room. As Saki's mind was occupied with something else Lina grabbed the video tape out of her hand.

"NO!" Saki screamed. "I wanted to watch it one more time!" Mari at this time was thinking. _Hmmm, I know how to annoy Xellos out of his mind..._She ran into Yurei room and brought out a Karaoke machine. Even though she was new to this era she had seen this way too many times.

"Want to do Karaoke?" she asked the others.

"Why?" asked Lina.

"'Cause its fun and I feel like doing Karaoke."

"How about we play 'Blast Yurei into the wall again? That's really fun," Saki said.

"Why not get your bushie in here so he can sing your song?" Mari asked.

"What is it? I like Big Butts and I cannot lie?" Saki asked.

"No, 'she's the Girl All the Bad Guys Want." Saki put her hand to her chin.

"Hmm, I am the girl all the bad guys want." Saki is in deep thought. "No, I think I'll pass, even for that song." Everyone else agrees, except Reiyu.

"Ohh, Karaoke. Yurei, I know a song." He put on a cassette. "The sun will come out tomorrow..."

"Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow..." Mari sang, having heard this song many times from Yurei.

"They'll be sun..." both sang.

"NO!" screamed Saki in pain.

"Just thinking about, tomorrow, clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow, till there none! When I'm stuck with the day, that's grey and lonely, I just stick out my chin and grin and say, Ohh, the sun will come out! Tomorrow, tomorrow I love yah tomorrow; you're only a day away! Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love yah tomorrow! You're only a day AWAY!" Saki is now banging her head against the wall.

"Ah, I think Saki is brain damaged..." Lioku said.

"Gourry, Lina, I know a song we can sing," Amelia said.

"What?" Lina asked.

"Life so wonderful..." Amelia sang."

"...It's so marvelous..." Gourry continued.

"It's always filled with light and joy..." Xellos came out and smacked the Karaoke machine against the wall.

"ANYTHING BUT THAT!" he screamed.

"Yurei is going to be pissed if that machine is broken," Mari said. They all turned to her.

"What?"

"Oh, I was sayin..." Mari said and stood up on the couch, "YOUR NEVER FULLY DRESSED WITHOUT A SMILE!" she then fell on her back. She held it in pain, something she hadn't felt for a long time. "Ouch." She then felt her long scar. Yet another reminder of what Xellos did to her. She kicked him in the leg and ran to Reiyu for cover, but was water gunned by Saki before she could get there.

"Man that is fun!" Saki cried out. "Shibby!" Mari got up and went into the kitchen with Reiyu close behind.

"Yurei," Reiyu said in a concerned tone, "You haven't been acting like yourself. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Mari said angrily.

"Have you taken your medication yet?" he asked.

"Medication? What medication?" Mari asked as she started to boil some water. Reiyu left Mari who had a confused look on her face. Minutes later he returned with whole gang on his heels.

"Yurei, you have to take your medication," Reiyu said concerned. Everyone came out from behind him ready to attack.

"W-why are you staring at me like that?" Mari asked. Everyone except Reiyu then pounced at her, but at the last second she dogged them, sending them all flying into the wall. "RAY-WING!" Mari started to float. "I believe I can fly!" she screamed.

Saki then got up and water-gunned her. "I believe you can fall!" The group then tackled her and while Lioku was holding her arms back, and everyone else was on her Man does it look wrong (I'll say, the all are heavy) Reiyu and Zelgadis shoved the pills down her throat; of course much to Reiyu's dismay she bit him. (Oh, oh. We've seen Yurei on this medication, Mari must be extremely scary.)

"Im Hungry!" Reiyu said after he had been bit.

"You're always hungry!" screamed Lioku.

"Well I'm even hungrier!"

About an hour later the gang was eating... surprise, surprise, chicken and rice. Saki had threatened to turn everyone into chibi's and everyone had given in, especially Lina. Reiyu did not care, either way, because he could either be a chibi or eat.

"Poor, poor deranged kid," was Saki's comment. During dinner Mari kept giving Xellos the evil eye, which everyone saw. Towards the end of dinner she could not stand his smiling face she had fallen for and considering she was next to him, tried to smack him. At the last moment he got up, she made a turn and fell onto the couch. While she was still in this position she tapped her fingers on the couch, and then swung her fist in the air. She then went into a corner and held her legs, pouting. After dinner Reiyu went into Yurei's room without permission, which greatly angered Mari, but who was strangely still in denial, did not care. He came out with a giant book, smiling. He dropped it on the couch, quite by accident on Amelia, who fell. Only her legs and one arm could be seen.

"Let's read a story!" Reiyu said happily. "Amelia, Amelia where are you?" Amelia's had pointed towards the book. Reiyu removed it, and Amelia looked as though she couldn't breath. "Oh, there you are!"

"Reiyu," said Lioku, "You are fourteen, don't you think it is time to stop reading Fairy Tales?"

"They aren't Fairy Tales! They're real!" Reiyu protested. Lioku brought his mouth to Filia's ear. She slapped him.

"I just want to tell you something about my brother!" he protested. He then whispered, "I have told him the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy weren't real, but he won't believe me. Yurei says not to spoil his imagination, no matter how old he is, so every year I put on a red suite and a beard and Yurei puts on a reindeer costume and a bulb on her nose, which flickers on and off. And each year I would go down the chimney and Yurei would have to pull me up. And every year, Saki would be the Grinch. One year, I got stuck and Yurei had to come down and take a crowbar to me to get me out. And don't let me start on Easter. The bunny costume does not breathe! Not to mention Yurei has no sense of direction, and she's heavy! Good thing Reiyu ran out of teeth, I hated having to alternate who would be the Tooth Fairy..." Lioku was interrupted by his brother.

"It's called the Legend of the Half-Breed Monster Tamika!" Mari's eyes widened and Xellos looked towards Reiyu.

"Can you even read Reiyu?" Xellos asked him.

"You'd be surprised," Lioku answered. "He actually does have a few talents, besides holding the best time score ever for a pie eating contest."

"Twenty five seconds, five pies..." Reiyu said happily, "I am so proud of myself!"

"And I thought Reiyu never bragged," Saki said.

"...Good job Reiyu...I love you twin brother..." Mari heard Yurei say. "Ummm, pie! Chocolate Cheesecake! Better!"

"Let's begin the story!" Reiyu then put in a cassette.

"CHEATER! THAT'S UNJUSTLY!" Amelia screamed.

"But you must admit, it's better than having to hear all of Reiyu's screw-up," Filia said.

"That is true..." Amelia began. "Okay continue!" Reiyu pressed play and the story began.

"Long, long ago during the war of dragon and monsters there lived a creature unlike any other. A creature so fierce and powerful, The Lord of Nightmares despised ever letting it live...but lets not get ahead of us now. During the war, the Monsters captured the Dragon Princess, Yoko. She was very important to her father, the leader of the Dragons, (please keep this in mind) and they planned an attack. The monsters decided the princess to be drowned in a river at dawn. A young soldier, Yaykov, was to watch her. The girl showed no fear of her death, but kindness even for thoughts who vowed to kill her and fell in love with her. Man, are they fast, must run in the family The two escaped, much to everyone else's dismay. The two now disguised themselves as mere villagers and had a child by the name of Tamika. The two lived somewhat peacefully among normal people even though they came from different races, for four years, until a random attack by the Dragons and Monsters killed them both. Everyone Tamika had ever known and loved had been taken from her, and she was the only one to survive the massacre. The little girl then ran around the countryside for a few years escaping the wrath of those who hated her, at many a time killing these people but turning into a horrific dragon with the eyes and temper of a monster. Her rain of terror ended when she snuck into the Monsters territory for more blood. She did kill her grandfather and other dragons that attacked, and many of the Monsters were killed, but a lone warrior killed Tamika. But even to this day, her spirit haunts this world..." the tape stopped.

"T-that's...that's not..." Mari said sadly.

"What?" Zel asked her.

"That isn't the full story..." she finished.

"God, that's lame..." Saki said. "Lame story...Why did you make us listen to it." Reiyu did not reply. Saki turned to Xellos. "Did you know that story?"

He hesitated. "Yeah."

"...okay," Saki answered. At this time Mari was still eyeing Xellos sadly and evilly so he backed away from her. "I'm gonna get something to drink..." she got up.

"Drink as much as you want..." Lioku said. "I can wait..." Mari moved closer to Xellos. She then tried to hit him many times but when he turned to her, she looked away innocently. Mari then planned to truly hit him, when he got up and said,

"I'm going to get something to drink to." Mari yet again did her spinning move and fell on the couch, cussing under her breath. At this time, Zelgadis looked at her very worried.

"Ummm, Yurei, can I see you for a minute?"

"Why?" Mari asked confused.

"Just because..." He continued.

"If I must..." Mari said, following him, but turning to stick her tongue out at Xellos. She follows him to his room. For you people with wrong minds, no not that (Why not?) Because, not THAT

"What is going on with you?" Zel asked her. "Normally you'd just follow me around and ask me to do unimaginable things, but today you have been cussing at Xellos and trying to hit him! I mean, I hate him and all, but what did he ever do to you?" At this point Mari kept staring at the door as though someone was about to barge in on their conversation. Zel sweatdropped. "Are you even listening to me?"

She turned. "Uhh... Yeah...can we continue this conversation later I have something I need to do in a minute..."

Zel sweatdropped. "Okay and Mari left the room. Mari went into Yurei's room and grabbed up a long piece of paper and writing utensils and smiled evilly...

Back with the gang who are all sitting around staring into space?

"I'm bored," Lina said. "How about we go out onto the street and torture people."

"Fun," Saki said. "Wait, did we just agree on something? Oh, bad thought...I'm going to take a shower now."

"You do that," Lina said.

"And then I'm going to take a pee and go to bed," Saki continued.

"Thanks for that update, Saki," Lina said, "We all appreciate it."

"I know what you're going to say, so don't bother," Saki said to Xellos, "Come on." The two left the room. A couple hours passed, Lina practiced magic, Xellos and Saki were in the shower still to make the water bill high, Gourry was eating, Filia and Lioku were drinking tea and Amelia and Reiyu were fighting about how to fix the camcorder which was thrown against the wall by Lina. Zelgadis was still in his room, and had not come out.

"Where is Zelgadis?" Amelia asked.

"He went into his room and never came out," Gourry said, "I think he's sleeping."

"Oh." She then started arguing again. A few more hours pass and Saki and Xellos came out of the shower.

"I've change my schedule," Saki said.

"That's nice," Lina said.

"First Xellos and are going to grab some martinis and then go into my room, get drunk and turn on some loud music and then go to bed." Everyone else has an awkward look on their face. Xellos gets the martinis and the two go into the room. A moment later Saki comes back out and puts a Do Not Disturb sign on the door.

"I DID IT!" Mari yelled. "I finally have a plan to kill the son of a bitch, backstabbing Xellos! But first..." then she walks out of the room, and looks at the others in the living room. No one notices her.

"Damn, nobody notices me!" she cussed under her breath then went into Zelgadis's room. And as Gourry, thought, he was asleep. _Hmmm, I am her to make him like Yurei cringe and I am sort of not doing the reason. I might as well do something._ She then stares at Zelgadis for a long time. _What am I going to do?_ She then got an idea and got on the bed, and sat on the lower part of his body yes for you people with wrong minds. And strange feeling went through Yurei's body. Yes, you people with wrong minds, if you know what I am saying _Man, she does like him, doesn't she! _Yurei felt something and stirred in her sleep. Heheehee Narrators boss: I said no lemons! It's not a lemon It sounds like a lemon to me Well its not, a fat ugly fuck What did you say? I said 'Chickens go cluck' Well, that's true, I guess (Sweat drop) At this point Zelgadis woke up and stared at her.

"Yurei, what are you doing?"

"You said you wanted to talk to me."

"Yeah, just talk."

"Well then talk to me."

"Does this really require you sitting on me?"

"Huh, what, sitting on you?" she thinks. "Uh, yeah, it does."

"Well, I guess there's no harm in it, right now."

"Well, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Why are you acting so strange today...well stranger than normal."

"Why do you care?"

"Umm... an umm...just because..." she thinks.

"Does my personal life really have to concern you?"

"What personal life? You live with a terminally naïve brother, a perverted brother, a slutty friend, not to mention six total strangers who have been guests in your house way too long..."

"...I have much more of a deeper life than that..."

"You do? Oh yeah I forgot, following me around, doing magic in your room and eating."

"That doesn't even come close to what a deeper life I have..."

"Okay, then tell me."

"Why should I tell you? Are you concerned about me?" In Yurei's dream she is dreaming of unmentionable things since this cannot be a lemon. (Scowls at boss) Scowls at boss Damn you lemon haters! Damn you perverted people! Mari is thinking _resist all temptation. Resist all temptation._ From Sakis room they can hear loud music right on schedule.

"All right. I will tell you a secret. My mother left when I was just four and my dad left to war when I was ten and never came back."

"Okay. So, why are you acting weird? Well weirder. You didn't act this strange yesterday and we all know it can't be the medication considering I have seen that once..."

FLASHBACK Dammit!

Yurei is freaking out.

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"What! What! What!" asks Saki.

"Want to do something fun?"

"Sure, why not?" Yurei hands Saki a mace.

"Is this Filia's mace?"

"Does it matter if it is?" Yurei turns on loud music and grabs up the sword of light. "Let's run around with sharp objects!"

"Fun!" two run around and nearly everyone is cut until Gourry hits Yurei in the head with a pan.

"Aw, that was fun." Saki says sad.

END FLASHBACK Yahoo

"You honestly aren't getting it, are you?" Mari asked.

"Getting what?"

"...I am not what I appear..."

"What are you talking about?"

"It is not on the outside, it's on the inside..."

"Okay, what does that mean?"

"I am not Yurei, Dammit!" The spirit of Yurei was saying _resist all temptations, resists all temptation..._And on its own Yurei's real arm went up and down repeatedly for Mari was trying to hold it down but Yurei was moving it up. Zel looked very confused.

"See! This isn't me! I am not moving the arm! Yurei is moving the arm! And I don't want it to because I don't want to know where it wants to go!" Mari screamed. Zel looked very scared. _God damn it resists all temptations! _Mari screamed to the still sleeping Yurei. _Hmm, I'm supposed to help Yurei. Should I resist all temptations? Maybe just this once. _Mari let go of her control on Yurei's body that then grabbed Zelgadis by the shirt and gave him a long, deep kiss. Suddenly when Mari realized what she was doing regained back her body.

"What did you do that for?" Zel asked her, uneasily.

"I wanted to see what Yurei would do," well at least we know where the arm was going, that was scaring me for a minute (in a daze) Mari answered. "You see...how I should put this..."

"What?"

"I am...how they say...the half-breed monster...Tamika." Dun-dun-dun) (In dazed) Smacks her: Regain consciences, it'll be okay (Regains conciseness: what? I just...oh forget it)

Ok peoples I'll do more next time. plez keep on reading and reviewing!!!


	4. Tamika's past, Yurei's future

Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers, though I want to.

Hey everyone!! Time for chapter 4, but first, I have to say that if you want the biograghy on the new characters just tell me and I'll put them on but if not..... Don't say anything.

Episode 4: Tamika's Past, Yurei's Future

Back in the other room Lina, Gourry, Amelia and Lioku are sitting on the couch; Filia wanted to go to bed and Lina said it was Reiyu's bed time. Suddenly Lioku says,

"You know when you get a drivers license and they say hair color. What do you put if you are bald?"

"I don't know," Lina said.

"Maybe you don't put anything," suggested Gourry.

"Or maybe they put your eyebrow color," Amelia said.

"That could be true to," said Gourry. They then are in daze thinking about it.

"I am Tamika, the monster. Well, nobody truly knows who I was killed by. I was killed by the only man I ever loved, Xellos." Zelgadis looked shocked.

"Are you serious?"

"No I'm lying."

"Well that's why you were trying to hit him and fight Saki, nobody does that but Lina."

"No shit." Zel gets up and goes his dresser and Mari (Yurei) falls on the bed. "Let me tell you what really happened."

FLASHBACK

Mari, whose truest name is Tamika; child of the people, and half monster and half dragon, was walking through the woods. The girl was extremely lonely and wished for at least one friend in this world; but she knew very well no one wanted to be a half-breeds friend or companion; especially one of two fighting races. As I would know Suddenly, her silence was disturbed by something in the sky. She looked up, and saw many dragon warriors blasting at her.

"This is not fair!" she screamed running. "I'm not a fighter, just a wanderer who has lost her parents. The only two who ever cared about meeeeeeeee!" she then feels, straight into a raging river below. She fought against the powerful current, but could not resist it and soon feel beneath it; tears streaming down. _This is how this life ends, isn't it?_ She then feels into unconsciousness. Hours passed, possibly even days until she woke up, in a prison cell. Her head ached and she wished to know what was happening. Looking out her cell, she could see that the guards were indeed dragons. She tried to get up, but from exaction she could not. _How am I still alive?_ She asked herself. Then someone came to her cell; someone who defiantly surprised her, the dragon leader. He stared at her closely.

"Hmm, so this is the beast you speak of?" he asked.

"Hey! I may be a half breed, but I am not any beast!" Tamika said disgusted.

"Feisty!" he continued. "She is a demon in all ways I can see. She shall die at dawn."

"I shall WHAT at dawn?!" she screamed. "What in the hell did I ever do to you people! No matter what percentage I am of monster, I am still part dragon, so I am one of you! You would kill one of your own!?"

"It has come down to that," the elder answered and then walked away. Tamika banged on the bars with a cup, trying to gain there attention.

"WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU? IS IT TRULY MY FAULT THAT I AM EVEN LIVING! IS IT MY FAULT MY PARENTS WERE WHAT THEY WERE!" she then stopped and stooped down, hugging her knees? "What have I done to deserve this?" she asked sobbing. "Why couldn't I have gone with my parents?"

FLASHBACK Wow a flashback within a flashback. I hate flashbacks!

Tamika was in ruble in a town filled with dead bodies and fires everywhere. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Mommy! Daddy!" she called out. "Mommy! Daddy! Come back! Don't leave me alone!" Of all the people of this town Tamika was the only one to live.

END FLASHBACK Short Flashback; Good

Tamika had fallen asleep, tears still loose. Someone then shook her awake. She opened her eyes to see a boy her age with purple hair and purple eyes. He was wearing a robe and was carrying a staff.

"Wh-who are you?" she asked shakily. She then looked at the staff. "Are you the executioner?"

"No you silly girl!" he said happily. "I'm here to set you free!"

"Set me free?" she asked, not understanding. "Who are you?"

"Sora wa himitnsu desu!" he said.

"Huh?" she asked, not understanding.

"My name is Xellos and I am part of the monster race."

"Oh," she said disappointed. "Well if you're after my head you can forget it, I think I'd rather die by the hands of a Dragon, their much more gently."

"After your head?" he asked and then laughed. "No, not at all. Actually my leader would like to treat you like a queen no doubt, for what you have done to help us."

"Help you? But I haven't done a thing! I don't even know you!"

"You'll understand soon," he said and held out his hand. "Come on!"

She took hold. "How can we escape? This place is more locked up than the sword of light!"

"Like this!" he said and in a minute he puffed them out. They were now in the monsters territory.

"Thanks for your help," she said as she began to walk away.

"Hey!" he said as he grabbed her. "Stay here for a while. Your welcome and it looks to me you need some new clothes and a bath. Come on!" Later Tamika was bathing in a hot spring, giggling. She had never had this kind of luxury before. She picked up a bubble and watched as it popped in her hand and she laughed.

Meanwhile

Xellos was bowing at the monster leader (Who is not seen.)

"Did you bring the girl?" he asked Xellos.

"Yes. She is refreshing herself at this very moment."

"Good. With this girl we shall be able to end this war very soon." He paused. "Well, don't just stand there! Go and get her!" Xellos nodded and disappeared.

At this moment Tamika was laughing, humming a tune while washing herself up. Unfortunately that is when Xellos dropped in. He saw her and blushed He wasn't that hentai at the time; that didn't last long and she saw him and threw the soap bar at him which hit him square in the noggin, leaving an imprint.

"What in the hell are you doing here!" she screeched.

Later Xellos and Tamika were walking through the hall and Tamika is telling Xellos her life's story. Oh god. Here we go! This is strange to her, considering no one has ever cared before.

"Don't worry," he said. "Now you always have a place to stay, and a person to be your friend." _A friend. A friend. No one has ever said that before. I-I have a friend. _He then took her to the lookout where you could see the ocean. Notice the mention of water constantly. Involves Saki. He looked out over the railing.

"Isn't it magnificent?" he said to her. Remind me of what he would say to Saki She then looked at him. His hair was blowing in the breeze and for the first time sense she had met him, she could see his eyes. _A friend. I think-I think I am falling in love with my friend. It's only been two hours but I've fallen in love with my friend._ Suddenly Xellos pushed her down as a blast of light erupted from the sky. The dragons were attacking. He got up and floated in the sky.

"I'll hold them off as long as I can," he said, "You get to the leader." Tamika hesitated. No one had ever tried to save her before. No one. "What are you waiting for!" he called to her, turning his back for just a moment.

"I-I..." she tried to speak but had no words for this gratitude overwhelming her. At that instant Xellos was knocked with a blast and sent flying at Tamika's feet. She bent over and put his head on her lap and whipped the blood off his face.

"D-don't worry about me..." he said weakly. "J-just get to the leader!" Tamika could not believe the concern this boy showed for her. Sorrow overwhelmed her and her eyes and body began to glow. She got up and screamed just as thunder storm erupted. In this scream the light overpowered her and in a matter of seconds she no longer stood. In her place was a ferocious dragon, not a sort that had ever been seen before. It stood somewhat tall though a bit smaller than the dragons and dark with huge wings and sharp bloody fangs. Blood that had come from dragons. She had defeated the dragons that had attacked her before Its eyes were of a true monster, a demon, bloody red, and the look of its eyes showed it had a taste for blood. Ohh, Count Dracula, Yummy It beat it wings that were much too big for it and with a bolt of lightning, took down the dragon leader by flying through his stomach. Then one by one, she gave the remaining dragons a bite of death in the neck. One by one, the dragons fell bloodily into the sea. Another lighting bolt struck and Tamika looked back. Overwhelming hate for the monsters filled her heart and she flew towards the fortress to where the soldiers were waiting. She attacked and killed nearly all of them, not once trying to attack Xellos, the only one she had learned to trust. She was about to kill the leader when she was stuck in the back. She turned to see Xellos. She could not believe it. Stunned, she did not realize it until Xellos got her in the heart. As she collapsed, she gained back her normal form. She looked up at him as he stood above her, and tears formed in her eyes.

"W-why?" she asked him. "I-I thought you were my friend..." tears started to pour out. "I-I loved you..." the last thing she saw of the world of the living was Xellos stunned face and then she fell into a deep, everlasting sleep.

END FLASHBACK

"What are you doing?" Mari asked.

"Getting something." He pulls out the Storybook.

"How did you get that?" Mari asked.

"I don't know, I just figured it was in my drawer." He started to look at it.

"You know, sense you know my secret I am going to have to kill you."

"Really." He turned back to the book. Mari then drew a long dagger from her clothes. Yurei felt something not right and woke up to see the dagger above Zelgadis's neck.

"MARI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" she screamed grabbing the ghost Mari's hand. Zelgadis heard Yurei. For the next few minutes Yurei and Mari are screaming from the same body and attracting the attention of the others.

"That could be me," Amelia screamed. What? What do you want (We knew that)

Yurei and Mari were fighting, but Mari was determined to get Zelgadis good. She kept swinging the dagger at him, and he dogged, and Yurei gave an ear piercing scream.

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" Mari screamed.

"Yurei, make her stop!" Zel screamed.

"I don't know how!" Yurei yelled in between screams. Come on Yurei, think. You have dealed with trapped spirits before, what is there purpose? ...That's it! They have a certain purpose and I asked Mari to help Zelgadis to like me...damn, were doomed!

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Mari squealed.

"NO! NO! NO!" Zel screamed.

"Zel," Yurei called out. "I know this will sound very wrong, but it's the only way..." No not that (Why not?) "...Zel, I summoned Mari today..."

"...You mean Tamika..."

"WHAT!" Yurei looked wide-eyed. "You're TAMIKA!"

"Of course!"

"So you're the ones all the Yurei's complain about! Do you realize how many problems I have to fix for..."

"JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANTED TO TELL ME YUREI!" Zelgadis screamed.

"...Zelgadis...I wanted Tamika to help me because...I wanted you to...like me...I know it might sound foolish now...even to me...but...I care about you...more than life itself..." Audience: Aww

"Hey the music stopped..." Lioku said.

"It has?" Lina asked.

"Yeah," Amelia answered.

"Well, sounds like Sakis done," Lina finished.

"Why can't that be me?" Lioku whined. He grabbed Amelia's hand. "Don't let me die a virgin!" Amelia then smacked him in the head. "Ouch..."

"That's so unjust!" Amelia screamed. The others sweat drop.

"I am so glad Gourry is not like that," Lina says.

Mari is screaming and trying to stab Zel. She got his bed really good and the stuffing is coming out.

"Ill pay for that..." Yurei said.

"You don't have to do that..." Zel said.

"Im going to anyway..."

"Okay, I'm not going to argue... Good don't... now how do I get her to stop trying to stab me!"

"You...have...to..."

"Say it fast!"

"Show me you like me!" Zel sweatdrops even though he is running away.

"Anytime now! I'd like my body back!"

_How am I supposed to do anything when I'm running away from her? _Zel thought. _Oh yeah!_ Zel stops running and Mari runs to stab him, but the knife snaps on him, and goes falling on the floor.

"Wow, that was easier than I thought," he said.

"Uh...Zel...if you could have done that before, why did you run?" Yurei asked.

"Because...I didn't think of it till now."

By now Amelia's went to bed, Lioku followed but she slammed the door in his face and he went to bed. The other two are just sitting there.

"I'm hungry," Lina said. "We haven't eaten in two hours."

The two then go and eat leftovers. God, why isn't the listening to them yelling? How can anyone sleep? Why don't they check on them (shrugs: It's a story they can do whatever they want) True

Mari is looking confused.

"You broke my dagger! It costs me two whole dollars!"

"Wow, two whole dollars. And you can't by another one?" Zel commented.

"No I'm dead. How am I supposed to buy a new one?"

"And you have been in Yurei's body for how long?"

"I don't remember."

"That helps."

"Okay Zel, I really would like my body back sometime today so could you stop talking and get her outta here?!" Yurei asked. Wow, she really urging; 'She's got the urge to herbal'

"Well how exactly am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know, how do you show other people you care? Think of something quickly or soon I'm going to sing one of the many Cares bears songs I know."

"Blackmail!" screamed Mari. _How am I supposed to do this? _Zel thought_. This is so strange and sudden and Ahh!_ _Ahh, the hell with it!_ At that point he decided the hell with it and decided to repay Yurei. In other word he grabbed Yurei and kissed her like she had done with him when she was asleep.

"Shit!" Mari commented.

Next Scene

Saki and Xellos lying in bed. (Well duh) Saki was trailing her claws up and down Xellos chest thinking.

"Hey, you know about the story? You said you knew it, right?" Saki asked.

"Yeah," Xellos said, half asleep. It makes scene Audience: It does Boss: I said no lemons! It isn't, this is after!

"I wonder who killed that wicked beast thingy," Saki wonders.

"..." At this time Saki was falling to sleep when she was woken up by Xellos.

"I have something to tell you," he said.

"Mmm."

"Wake up; I have something to tell you!"

"Mmmm."

"I have something to tell you!"

"You always have something to tell me!"

"I know but its something different this time!"

"Something different? Okay then tell me!"

"It's about the story!"

"And that's different?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then what?"

"You know you asked who killed that beast-thingy."

"Yes and..."

"Well, I killed that beast thingy." Saki then wraps her arms around him.

"Oh, my big, strong mysterious hero...now let's go to sleep." Saki then falls asleep.

"Yeah, hero," Xellos says sadly.

Zel has now kissed Yurei and she stands their in a daze.

"Uh, Yurei, are you okay?" Zel asks. Just then a cloud comes out of Yurei's back and Mari appears. "Well, at least it wasn't about the kiss." Yurei is till in a daze. "Yurei? Yurei!" He then shakes her awake.

"What?" Yurei then throws her arm around Zelgadis's neck. "I'm so happy!"

"Uh, Yurei, we have an evil ghost above your head watching us, I don't think now is the time..." O.O Yurei then thinks about it. "Ohh, your right! Now is not the time!" Yurei then smiles. "Uhh, Zel I have to take my soul out of my body so could you take care of it for a few minutes? Do whatever you want with it...I don't care." O.O!! Zel sweatdrops as Yurei then takes out her Yurei headband out of her clothing and puts it on her head. Yurei then says a chant (one of the first ones said in the story) and another white cloud comes out of her back and her body falls limp but before it falls to the ground Zel catches it. Not knowing what to do with it, Zel places it on his bed. Yurei sees.

"Oooh!" Then Mari dashes towards Yurei and for a while the two blobs are bouncing off of one another. If you guys have ever scene Pokemon the First Movie, which is what it looks like (Mew!) Sweat drop The two white blobs are now chasing each other as Zel get dizzy. Soon, Mari is being chased around by Yurei and the two go through the walls into every room in the house. As Mari is about to go into Saki's room, Yurei blocks it off.

"WHAT?" Mari asked.

"You don't want to go in there."

"WHY?"

"You just don't want to go in there." Mari then runs through Yurei into the room and to her dismay she sees the sight that gives her mixed feelings of anger, betrayal and sadness. She then went over to Saki and touched the sleeping girls' throat. Her voice then rushed out of Sakis mouth.

"TRAITOR!" automatically Xellos woke up, but Saki still lay sleeping. He was very confused.

"I gotta lay off the drinks," he thought. Mari then said it again.

"TRAITOR! YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM!" Xellos is very confused damn she says traitor toooo much – headache-. At this time Mari cannot take it any more and to her dismay, inhabits Saki's body. Sakis body then gets up, eyes dull. "XELLOS! YOU KNOW WHO I AM!" she then turns around and points to her back. "No matter where I go or who's mind I enslave this mark still inhabits my body, even if it isn't mine and my soul. Your so called, mark of friendship, I would say."

"Tamika...Tamika is that you?"

"Not it's the Easter bunny. Of course its me you traitor!"

"But why are you in Sakis body...Did I do you?"

"NO YOU MORON! I HAVE BEEN USING THE BODY OF THAT GOODFORNOTHING YUREI! I HAVE COME TO GET MY REVENGE ON YOU!"

"Revenge? For what?"

"For spying of me! No of course not that it's for killing me you nincompoop! But while I am at it..." Mari then slaps him across the face. "Believe me, there is a lot more than that yet to come!"

"Uh, Tamika..." Xellos then points down.

"AHHHHH!"

"Still self conscious huh? Even for not your own body?"

"Give me the blanket...No wait...don't give me it...oh, bad thought...oh just hand me the damn clothes!"

"I don't know where they are..."

"Then get me something to cover myself up with..." Mari then covers her eyes. She gets up and closes her eyes. He comes back with a dishcloth.

"This is all I could find."

"Oh, that helps a lot." At this point Mari then flashes this on her two more important parts.

"Hey, I'm not a good for nothing! I brought you here, didn't I?" the two turn to see Yurei holding a bag of popcorn "This is better than most soap operas!"

"You realize that Xellos is here naked right?" Mari said then flashing Xellos an evil look.

"Your right. I am being unloyal to Zelgadis...AHHH!"

"Have you ever seen him...like this?" Mari asked.

"Well, I saw him with his shirt off..."

"And I saw him in boxers..." Mari said.

"YOU DID! AND I MISSED IT!"

"Uh, girls, you realize this is about me, don't you?" Xellos asked. Yurei then cannot stand seeing Xellos...like this, and flies out of the room. At this point Saki feels like she is alone strange for her and wakes up. Still asleep but not yet asleep she feels as though there is someone else in her body. Hehe, not that way Hearing someone else talk through her mouth is also a bit strange.

"...What the fuck?"

"...so Tamika, it is you, isn't it? Only you would act like this..." Xellos said.

"Of course it's me, you moron! I'm dead after all, and it is your fault! I can't believe a true friend would do this!"

"...I take it a sorry, wont help?"

"Sorry? SORRY!? WHEN I AM THROUGH WITH YOU WILL ESPERIENCE WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH!"

"...Tamika, did you mean...what you said to me?"

"I haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about."

"Did you mean what you said before you died?"

FLASHBACK

"W-why?" she asked him. "I-I thought you were my friend..." tears started to pour out. "I-I loved you..." the last thing she saw of the world of the living was Xellos stunned face and then she fell into a deep, everlasting sleep.

END FLASHBACK

"Well, maybe I did, but what it doesn't make a difference now."

"Yep, it wouldn't make a difference now."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, I don't have feelings for you then and I don't now, and plus you being dead does make it hard. Not to mention I am with someone else now, and it's wrong to cheat on people."

"OH, AND IT NOT WRONG TO KILL YOUR FRIEND!?"

"I didn't mean that..."

"Then why did you kill me?"

"Um, I thought you were someone else, or...something else...oh I don't remember now!" she then smacked him.

"That's not right!"

"I can't remember my past! Oh, wait, now I remember, it was because the monster leader told me to bring you their and if you flipped out, I would have to kill you. And I was not about to go against his orders. Do you know how scary she can get when she is mad?"

"You really don't know why I went crazy, do you?"

"No, I don't...why did you go crazy?" at this point Saki is having fun listening. "Wow, this is better than Lifetime."

"Why I should I tell you now? Does it really make a difference what I did in the past?"

"Not really, but I'm interested. You really don't have to be so blunt." Wow, blunt

"...they hurt me...and got away with it...then they started to hurt you...I have...seen...way to many people killed to let that happen again...especially to you...when I loved you...but that doesn't matter now/" She then screamed. "I SAW WAY TO MANY PEOPLE I CARED ABOUT DIE! I COULDN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! I PUT EVERYTHING ON THE LINE...FOR YOU...AND LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!"

"...I don't know what to say..."

"Good, there are no words to express what I have gone through. I wish not to sound sorry for myself...and I never really did...But it's kind of hard when you lost everything...EVEN YOUR OWN LIFE AND ONE CHANCE AT HAPPINESS!"

"I cant imagine how you can fall in love with someone in two hours...did you just like me or thought I was cute...cause I am cute, you know." Saki thinks.

"Yeah, he is cute."

"...You were the only person in my life kind to me...besides my parents...not that I can remember either one... I suppose it was either that or I was very naïve..." at this point Saki cannot stand it anymore. _You know this conversation is nice and everything, but she is next to my guy and I am getting jealous. Also I'd like my body back. Wait a minute...I'm jealous of myself. Strange. I should interrupt; it'll just screw up matters. Thinking bad, sex good._ Saki then kicks Mari out of her body. "And stay out!" she then smacks Xellos.

"What did I do?"

"Stuff." She then turns to the blob. "Now, come here you white-blobby, thingy!" she then attacks it, but considering it is a ghost, it goes through her hand. Mari yells out.

"Fuck you!" Saki then screams.

"Fuck you too! Talking to my boyfriend you dragon thingy."

"Just to tell you, he's a murder! But you being as inferior as you are will probably get killed by him to, but lets hope have a worse fate than myself." Saki sweatdrops.

"My bushie won't kill me!"

"Well, your bushie was my friend, and he killed me!" at this point Yurei comes back into the room.

"Okay, Zel-chan wouldn't come with me so I have to face my fear." She has a handkerchief tied across her eyes. "Rose whip!" In her hand, appears a rose whip, much like Kurama's on Yu Yu Hakusho but instead the whip is red and the thorns are green. She then swings it around.

"Not in my room!" Saki screams. The whip then hits her bed and its stuffing comes out.

"Damn," Yurei says, "Another bed I have to pay for." Yurei keeps swinging it around, though. "Tamika, you realize what problems ghosts like you cause for me? They come to me and say 'help me.' And I say 'why?' and they say 'my boyfriend killed me.' And I say 'Lovely.' And then we go and kill him. Then he comes to me and says 'help me.' And I say 'what.' And he says 'my dead girlfriend killed me.' And I say 'nice.' And they say 'help me.' And I say 'no, I don't help murderers.' And then they ask 'but my girlfriend killed me.' And I say 'techniquly when they asked me they weren't murders yet.' Then they beg me and beg me and I feel as though I am Saki and they are Lioku and they are begging to go to bed with me. I have never been asked that, but I think I realize how it feels. Then I tell them 'okay', and then send them straight to hell. "Highway to hell.'"

"Yurei, shut up. You are really starting to annoy me. And Tamika, girls like you make me sick."

"Why?"

"Because you just stand here and wait for your man to come back to you even though he's not your man and your dead. I mean, your dead, he killed you, get over it! You act like your Queen Elizabeth or something! And also, why should you follow a man when he's with another girl, and nobody likes you anyway, except for Yurei, who took a bit of pity on you, god-damn her, and let you use her body, and sort of caused this problem, so get over it!"

"One, I did not want to come here to get Xellos to live happily ever after. I want revenge on him! In other words I want him to die and go to hell! And also, even though, Yurei bless her heart does take pity on me, did not summon me here for this! She is yet another lovesick girl and for this I take pity on her!"

"So if you're here to help Yurei why are you in this room talking to my man? I know you still have feelings for him, I can see it, but get over them!" Mari or maybe the name should switch to Tamika now, looked stunned. Then she screamed.

"YOU MORON! IF I STILL HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM THEN WHY WOULD I TRY TO KILL HIM?!"

"YOU'RE THE IDIOT! HOW CAN A DEAD GIRL KILL XELLOS! IF LINA CANNOT DO IT, FAT CHANCE YOU CAN! WAIT. DID I JUST SOMEHOW COMPLIMENT LINA? AHHH! Wait, you want him to die so he can be with you, in hell."

"Whatever gave you that preposterous conclusion? Anyway, I have not gone to hell, I'm trapped on earth you ninny!" At this point Saki is attacking her again. "You cats really have small brains don't you? You can't hurt a ghost, we're dead. So unless you can become a ghost, you can't hurt me, because I'm dead! And then you can't kill me, because hey, I'm dead!"

"You're really proud of this, aren't you?" Saki said.

"Not really.

"Cant...see... where... throwing... whip..." Yurei screamed. Saki then turns to Yurei.

"Yurei, go back into your own body. You being here as a ghost isn't helping us and you destroying my things aren't helping either. So go home."

"I am home."

"Just go."

"Problem, one, I can't see my way back, and two, to defeat a ghost, you need a ghost...and I really don't think you want me to turn you into a ghost."

"You can do that?"

"Sure. But it's only a prototype spell; I'm not sure what will happen."

"Yurei, turn around and take off the handkerchief and go. He's not everywhere you look. If he was...that would be good for me, but not you." Yurei then leaves.

"You know," Tamika says, "Yurei was your last chance of defeating me."

"Or destroying my room," Saki said. Yurei then screams.

"You sure you don't want to be a ghost Saki? Its fun. You weightless, and a bonus, you can fly."

"No Yurei, that's okay, I'll pass. I really like to do my boyfriend in my body. And uh, Yurei take Tamika with you. She's annoyed, coming here and trying to take my boyfriend away. Just get her out of here."

"I don't think she wants to go," Yurei says. "...and I really don't think trying to convince her will work either. Wait a sec; I just had a thought..."

"Wow, that's new," shot back Saki.

"Each Yurei on this planet stays behind for a certain purpose, and I think one of Tamika's reasons is to kill the man that killed her. Wow that is so romantic...and weird."

"Yurei, shut up."

Tamika can no longer stand the sight of Xellos and runs out of the room. Saki then smacks him.

"What did I do?"

"Just go to bed." Later in the story, you learn Saki hates learning about her mates past relationships

Now Yurei has run back into her room and Tamika has followed.

"Tamika, I'm pleading, please change."

"Uh, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, NO!"

"Change and you wont get hurt." Tamika then laughs. She finds it so funny she is bouncing all over the place.

"HURT!? BY YOU?! WOW, THAT'S A LAUGH!" Yurei then glowed. High amount of spiritual energy emitted from her body. (Kind of reminds yah of Yu Yu Hakusho, huh?)

"Even though my true powers lie within plants, this is probably one of my most powerful attacks. Do you know why?"

"Obviously not stupid. Now I'll ask, why?"

"My dead friends give me their energy and I focus it on one blow."

"Just curious, why are you telling me this?"

"Because no one, not even Saki can dodge it." She then started chanting in a language and a voice very foreign. She focused her energy on her two palms. She then stopped chanting and it was as though there was no sound at all. She then screamed. "Blast of the Yurei's soul!" the giant blast ran towards Tamika, and as Yurei knew she could not dodge it. Tamika screamed. Then she could not be seen. Moments later the light faded and Tamika was seen, holding her stomach and barely floating. "Let that be a warning," Yurei said in a dark voice she never used, "Don't try to hurt the ones I care about."

"Y-Yurei, I will be back. I will have revenge..." she then went out the window into the night's sky.

"I know you will..." Yurei said as she dropped into her body. Her eyes slowly opened and she pushed herself up, not very easily. "Man," she said, back to normal, "That takes a lot out of you. I can hardly move..." she looked and saw Zelgadis asleep aside on her. "Wait, I'm in Zelgadis's bed, and he's sleeping next to me...Heheehee." Yurei tried to get up, but fell back onto the bed. Eventually she gave up and fell asleep right there.


	5. Confession Time!

Disclaimer: no I don't own Slayers! I really hate writing this all the time!!! Geezz

Episode 5: Confession Time!

Next Morning

Yurei and Zelgadis are woken up by a scream.

"AHH!" Amelia screamed. "HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME ZELGADIS-SAN?" Yurei tried to get up again, but was still out of energy and failed. She then decided to talk her way out of this.

"Amelia, it's not like that...really."

"And I should believe you, why?"

"Because," Zelgadis said, "She is telling the truth." Everyone else then entered the room. Lioku shielded his brother's eyes. Reiyu jumped around franticly.

"Why is everything so dark?"

"Believe us, were telling the truth," Yurei said. "We wouldn't lie about something like this." Yurei once again tried to get up, and did, but then fell onto the floor. Despite his older brother, Reiyu went over to help her up.

"Are you okay, Yurei?"

"Yeah...I'm just gonna be weak for a couple a days...nothing to worry about..."

"You used that forbidden attack, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?!" Lioku screamed. Yurei paused then nodded. Reiyu looked up, face chalk white. Now Lioku was worried about him. "What's wrong, little brother?" Reiyu hung his head so no one could see his eyes. Reiyu then mumbled.

"I...I...thought I was seeing things...this is all so strange and new to me..." no one heard him and if they could, they would not have understood. (You will soon learn what Reiyu is talking about; just keep in mind YUREI AND REIYU ARE TWINS) Yurei looked at Reiyu. _What is wrong with him all of a sudden? _

"What are you talking about?" Lina asked. Lioku explained.

"Yurei's ultimate attack, blast of the Yurei's soul, is much like a resurrecting spell, but instead, it is used as a weapon. In using this spell, Yurei can focus the energy of dead souls into the palms of her hand and shoot it out as a beam, much like your Dragon Slave. There is a problem with this though."

"And that is?" Lina asked.

"The attack puts a strain on Yurei. One soul is too much for the lot of one human, but many focusing their energy on Yurei's body are deadly. We know it is...the first time she had to use it, it nearly cost us a sister..."

FLASHBACK

"What are you doing? Why are you trying to hurt people?" asked a seven year old Yurei. (Note: The Ling family has fought a lot of ghosts AND others over the years. Yurei power to see ghosts was developed when she was four and over the past few years was trained by her father, who is a human)

"Humans don't deserve to live on this earth and neither do you!" the ghost, who was a full grown woman with wings, blasted at Yurei. The young girl was blasted right into a wall.

"YUREI!" called out a nine year old Lioku who struggled to get up to help his sister and failed.

"Don't hurt my sister you mean lady!" a tiny Reiyu ran in front of Yurei, just as the woman fired another blast. (Note: Yurei can turn her brothers into ghosts more easily than non-relatives). Reiyu was knocked off his feet. The woman inched slowly towards Yurei who screamed. Much to the woman's astonishment, Reiyu got up once again, fire swarming around him. "To get to my sister, you have to go through me!"

"Very well. This is your funeral, little boy!" She then shot at Reiyu, who tried to hold his own, but with every attack, grew weaker, until he could barely stand and there was barely enough fire for a candle around him. The woman came over and picked him up by his shirt. "Your no fun, I want to hear scrams of pain!" she then hit him, again and again until he gave out little yelps. "YES! THHATS THE SOUND I WANT TO HEAR!" Yurei watched this horrified.

"Reiyu! REIYU! STOP! REIYU!" the woman looked up, smiling.

"Oh, you want this? Here, take it!" she through Reiyu straight at Yurei. Yurei then rested her brothers head on her lap, sobbing. "Reiyu? Reiyu? You're going to be okay, alright? I won't let that mean old lady hurt you anymore, okay?" Reiyu looked up and smiled.

"Yurei, I was a good boy, wasn't I? Was I good enough to be YOUR twin brother, Yurei?" Yurei smiled back.

"Yes, of course you were and you always have been, my sweet brother Reiyu." Reiyu giggled and then passed out. Yurei went into her shirt and pulled out a small charm of a rose. She looked at it and then at the sky. "Mother, what should I do?" She then looked down and saw Reiyu's charm of a flame sticking out of his shirt. She then looked over at Lioku and saw his tornado shaped one hanging around his neck. (Note: Their mother made them the charms and gave it to them when they were born. To them it's a symbol of her, and their unity.) Yurei then knew her bothers were and would always be there for her and she was given strength. She got up and started chanting. Her eyes turned cold. Lioku looked at her startled.

"What do you plan to do, little sister?" Yurei stooped and it was as though time itself had come to a close. Then she screamed.

"BLAST OF THE YUREI'S SOUL!" The blast of spiritual energy shot forth and hit the woman who was sent screaming as she fell into the earth, now into hell. Yurei also screamed and fell back in pain and collapsed back into her own body. Sense Yurei was no longer conscious, the other two feel into their bodies as well. Reiyu and Lioku slowly awoke and got up. But Yurei lay there deathly still and pale white.

"YUREI!"

END FLASHBACK

Yurei remembered this all very well and grasped the charm hidden well beneath her shirt. Reiyu, Lioku and Yurei all looked down without a sound. When Yurei had first used that attack, it seemed as though she was deathly ill for two weeks, and then ill for another two. Over the years it had not improved that much and that is why Yurei only used it when necessary. That is why she has used it only three times. That time, not too long before she had met Saki, and now.

"Why did you have to use it?" Lioku finally asked her.

"Reiyu, please take me to my room," Yurei said trying to avoid the subject.

"Yurei, why did you use it?"

"Now, Reiyu!" Yurei said pleadingly. "Honestly, Lioku, Reiyu never asks me about my life, why can't you take his example?"

"That would be scary," Lina commented. As Reiyu left with Yurei she said,

"I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for what I have done Zelgadis." When she was gone, everyone stared at Zel.

"What? WHAT?!"

Reiyu placed Yurei on her bed and Yurei stared at the ceiling. _How could Zelgadis-san forgive me for what I have done? _Reiyu took a look at Yurei and then left. When he was gone, no matter what little strength Yurei had, she sobbed. A second later Xellos and Saki popped into her room. The only reason Xellos is there is because Saki cannot do it on her own, if she could that would be strange Then Xellos popped out of the room. Saki looked at Yurei very concerned. Which is not very often

"Okay Yurei, tell me why you are so tired, no matter how perverted it is." She then lay on Yurei's bed with her tail twitching in the air. In between sobs Yurei explained.

"I...I have put you all...in danger..." Saki laughed.

"You mean that Tamika-chick? She couldn't hurt a hair on my tail!"

"You don't understand... ghosts are more powerful than normal humans...they can only be hurt by other ghosts...and I can't make her go away! Not to mention I did this all because of my stupid little crush on Zelgadis! I am so stupid! If anyone deserves to go, it's me!" Saki sighed.

"You're not stupid! You did it for a reason. A very good reason! If I were you I would have done the same thing but sense Im not you I haven't done it!" Yurei lit up.

"You really think my reason was good?!"

"Yep. And so I'm going to get you some food. Edible food that you don't get into a can!" Yurei smiled and tried to hug Saki who backed away. Yurei then fell flat on her face. "Hey, you're like a sister to me and I love yah, but not that much!" she then helped Yurei up and went to get her some food. Saki then popped back into the room. "What kind of food do you want anyway? I don't read your mind. Well, I do, but not when you're going to eat food." Yurei smiled.

"I don't care. Surprise me!"

"No, No, last time someone told me that..."

FLASHBACK

"Saki, get me some food! You know you love me!" whined Reiyu.

"No Reiyu."

"Come on please."

"Fine. Kid you're lucky it's your birthday. What do you want?" This is about five hours after Lina and Saki have a fight

"I don't know. Surprise me." Fifteen minutes later Saki comes back in with fried fish, boiled fish, other fish she cant think of now and a muffin on the side. He looks at the food and sweatdropped. "You made me fish. You know I don't like fish."

"Fine then eat the muffin, I'll take the fish." Reiyu takes a bite and makes a face.

"This muffin tastes like catfish."

"Well, what do you expect? All I had to cook with is fish, and leftovers from something in a container of Gourry's, and who the hell knows what's in there! So I made a muffin out of it!"

END FLASHBACK

"Good Point," Yurei says. "Uh, if it's not too much trouble I'd like a muffin that doesn't taste like fish. More like chocolate chips. I have to watch my waistline, you know."

"You have to watch your waistline so you want a chocolate chip muffin?"

"Yep. It's not a fattening as a cake."

"How about this, I make you a plain muffin. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Come on Yurei, take advantage of this moment. Saki's actually being nice." A familiar voice says. Suddenly Xellos pops into the room. Yurei turns pale.

"Uh, Xellos? I'm really sorry about last night." He looks at her a smile.

"Ah, don't worry, I forgot all about it, until you brought it up." Saki looks at him.

"Why are you here?"

"Because I wanted to know what you were doing." She then smacks his head.

"Ah, don't flatter yourself monster-boy." The two then go out of the room.

"Well, there goes my free muffin," says Yurei. "And my transportation! Wait up guys!" But neither of them hear her._ God I hope my relationship doesn't end up like there's. _Saki screams.

"Hey, I heard that!" About five minutes later Saki all by her lonesome comes back with a muffin.

"Thank you," Yurei says happily.

"Your welcome." Saki then leaves leaving Yurei confused. A few minutes later Zelgadis enters her room.

"Uh, Yurei, can we talk?" Yurei turns pale.

"Yeah, sure, I guess." He sat down on Yurei's bed, leaving her very uncomfortable.

"What did you want me to forgive you for?" Yurei looked down.

"For what an ordeal I put you through last night. Now, thanks to me, you are in terrible danger and all because I..." she stopped.

"...because you what?"

"Because I...what I mean to say am..." the two hear a crash come from Sakis room. Yurei can no longer take it and blurts it out. "I LOVE YOU ZELGADIS-SAN!" she then covers her mouth, petrified at what she just did. Yells are heard from Saki room. Zelgadis looked at her, turning pale and eyes wide.

"What?" he said in a small voice. Yurei continued in an equally small voice.

"I-I have loved you sense the moment I saw you. You're the most wonderful, gifted, compassionate person I ever met. Audience: Aww Oh god, here it comes I never expected you to love me back and at many times I tried to talk myself out of loving you...but I couldn't. You're the only man I truly ever loved...and I know I could love no other like I do you...I LOVE YOU ZELGADIS AND I ALWAYS WILL!...But I guess that I am just dreaming that you will ever care for me the way I do you, but no matter what I will ALWAYS love you!" Yurei looked down, tears streaming down. Zelgadis looked, speechless. Not knowing what to say, he backed out of Yurei's room in shock and then went into his own, locking the door. Yurei looked up once again and repeated. "No matter what, I will always love you Zelgadis-san and no one else...no one..." At that moment Xellos popped into Yurei's room.

"Sorry!" he said and then popped out. Little did she know Reiyu had seen the whole thing from her window? He looked down.

"Yurei...Yurei...what is happening to me?" he asked his hands. "I have never been able to solve your problems...and I know I cant now...but I think I know more about this problem than anyone else. Yurei...Yurei...what is happening to me? This is so new to me...What is wrong with me?" Wow, I never imagined Reiyu to be so, serious (Believe me; the problem gets more and more serious further in) Oh, great, just what we need more serious things. Lioku saw Yurei in her room and wondered what was wrong with her and walked towards the door.

"Yurei, are you okay? Would you like to talk?" Yurei threw the pillow at the door.

"Leave me alone!"

"But..."

"I said, LEAVE ME ALONE!" Lioku closed the door and walked away, head low. He then turned around and punched the wall.

"Why can't I talk to either of my siblings?" he said aloud. "Why can't I be like a big brother? I can hardly be a big brother, fat chance a father!"

"Lioku..." Filia said concerned. Lioku than ran out the door. A moment later Reiyu came in and slumped down on the couch and sighed.

Next Scene: Sakis room

"What did I do? I didn't do anything!" Xellos screamed.

"Don't put that little innocent act, I know what you did! I have to learn about your past and other relationships with girls and they come back from the dead to be with you and Ahh!"

"What can I do about it? I can't control what they do!"

"You know what you can do? You can get out of my room and leave me the hell alone!" Xellos then went out her door.

"Women." He then sees Reiyu slumped on the couch.

"What's your problem? And where is everybody? Lina is usually awake for at least something around this time."

"Oh, they went out for a walk," Reiyu said sadly, "They said they couldn't stand all the drama here. The only one from there group still here is Zelgadis, but he's locked up in his room."

"Whatever," Xellos said and then transported out of the house.

Mari or now the claimed 'Tamika' was up in a tree, pondering, and trying her best to heal her wound.

"Damn that Yurei! Why did she have to interfere? Scratch that, why did Saki have to interfere in Xellos and myself conversation? I will make them both pay, and then I will make the rest of Xellos life miserable, and send him where he belongs, in hell! That will show him!" She then paused. "But how to do it? This must be considered very carefully..." She then heard something rustle through the trees, but thought nothing of it.

"Tamika...Tamika..." called out a voice, alerting her. "Tamika...BOO!" a person head then stuck out from the leaves upside down and Tamika fell to the ground. He laughed, falling out of the tree himself.

"Oh, so you think that's funny?!" screamed Tamika.

"Yeah, it's hilarious!"

"Wait a second..." Tamika continued. "You can see me...how?"

"I have special powers that allow me to see within time...in other word the people who live in this time and those who have died. Allow me to introduce myself..." he stood up and brushed the dirt off his cloak and held up a staff with a clock on the end. "...I am Hatchidou, the Time Master."

"Time Master, huh?"

"Yes, indeed I am."

"Can you control time, possibly even see into the future?"

"Yes, yes I can."

"Then can you see what time you will go away and leave me alone?" Hatchidou laughed.

"You're quite the comedian aren't you?"

"If you count in the next five seconds me slapping you upside the head, than yes I am."

"I have seen into the future and that is not what you shall do."

"Than what 'shall I do?'"

"You shall follow me to my palace and will become part of my team." Tamika studied him.

"Sorry, but I fell for that one once and once is one time to many. Believe me, I fell for a cute boy in a robe once before and that was enough for one lifetime." She started to walk away.

"Xellos, the person who killed you after he showed you friendship?" Tamika turned around, eyes wide.

"How did you know that?"

"Didn't we just go through this? I am the Time Master, I can see everything and so I know more about you than you yourself know." Tamika was amazed. He continued. "I want nothing more than for you to join so you can gain revenge on Xellos. I myself shall help you. Believe me; payback is mostly what my group is about..."

Yurei's door opens a crack and Yurei looks around to see who is there. Having only Reiyu within her sights, she stumbles out, holding onto the door for dear life.

"I can walk, I can walk!" Yurei then falls and her feet flinch around in the air. "Ow, pain!" Reiyu runs over to her.

"What kind of pain?"

"The kind that hurts! Ow. Reiyu, do you mind helping me up?"

Lioku falls on a hillside overlooking his home, and the ocean.

"Why can't I be a big brother to those two?" he says again. "Why?" he then pulls his charm out of his shirt and a breeze goes over him. "Hmmm. The wind is always at its most cheerful peek by the sea."

Tamika followed Hatchidou into a giant castle. She then stopped. "Can we take a break? I'm dead and I'm dead tired!" Oh man

"Don't worry; we don't have to walk anymore." He then picked her up and puffed into a giant room filled with weapons.

"Hey, what's the big deal? Couldn't you have done that before I floated my tail off?" Hatchidou ignored her. "Hmm. I wonder where those two are." He and Tamika then heard a scream. "Oh, there they are." They walked into the next room and caught glance of a boy tied to a wall with an apple in his mouth and a dart near his side.

"Kakashi!" he screamed. "I know we are somewhat going together, but that is no excuse for using me as your pin-cushion!"

"Not pin-cushion, target," the girl now know as Kakashi said. "To be better at aim, I need live bait."

"Then I'll catch you a rat!" screamed the boy. "You really don't need to go all the way!"

"Yes, yes I do." She then picked up a knife and through it, barely missing his most important part, causing him to scream.

"Hey! I can't replace that and it would be a big loss for you! I only have one of them, you know!" the girl ignored him and picked up a bow and arrow.

"This is going to hurt you a lot more than it is going to hurt me," Kakashi said and the arrow flew straight at the boy's mouth. Tamika went to stop it, but Hatchidou grabbed her invisible arm.

"You're just going to let her kill him?" Tamika asked. Hatchidou pointed.

"Watch." The arrow did not miss its target, it hit the apple which split in half and fell on the floor. The boy breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now that you've had your fun, get me down!" Kakashi proceeded to go over to him and cut his bonds with a knife. He rubbed his wrists and then looked to see Hatchidou.

"Letting my sister abuse you, Misato?" Hatchidou asked with a laugh. Misato put his hand behind his head and laughed weakly.

"I wouldn't say 'let' her abuse me." Tamika looked at the boy and saw the same gold ears that were on that cat she had seen yesterday.

FLASHBACK

He then stopped with 'Yurei' as she saw a cat. It meowed and meowed at her.

"LEAVE YOU PESKY HAIRBALL ON FOUR LEGS!" she screamed, causing the attention of everyone within that block and many others to direct their attention at her, "I HAVE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH FROM YOUR KIND FOR ONE DAY OR MORE LIKE THE REST OF MY AFTERLIFE!" The cat hissed at her and scurried away.

END FLASHBACK

"So, you were that cat," Tamika said allowed pointing towards him.

"And you are..." he asked. "...I've never met you before."

"She possessed the Elemental of Earth, Yurei recently. You saw her," Hatchidou said.

"Oh, yeah...hey, why the hell were you screaming at me? I didn't do anything to you and that's something new for me!"

"Are you cheating on me, Misato?" screamed Kakashi, holding up a baseball bat.

"Misato, Kakashi, I would like you like you to meet Tamika. Our new groupie. Yeah baby!" Everyone sweatdropped. Kakashi whispered into Tamika's ear.

"When he acts all strange like that you know either he wants you to die, or he likes you and by the looks of it, he likes you!"

"Um.... is that a good thing or not, and I am already dead you know?" Tamika said.

"Honestly, I haven't a slightest clue," answered Kakashi.

"That helps," replied Tamika.

Saki is now pacing back and forth mumbling swears.

Lioku is now falling asleep on the grass. He does and bumps his head on a rock.

"Ouch."

Yurei and Reiyu are on the couch staring off into staring space. Zelgadis comes out of his room and sits next to Reiyu. Zel and Yurei look away from each other. Reiyu sweatdrops.

We see Xellos in a bar, drinking away. He goes to the bar tender.

"Do you know about girls? No you don't know about girls. Do you know about my girl? No you don't know about my girl." The bartender looks at him and shakes his head. "That's right. You wouldn't know about my girl. You would have to be Mrs. Cleo or something. You're a guy. Unless you haven't been telling me something!" Xellos says drunkenly slurred. "Ok buddy, you have had too much to drink, I think you should stop drinking" the bar tenders replayed. "Oh a come on boy, just one more!" Xellos says again drunkenly slurred. "NO NOW LEAVE" the bar tender looks very annoyed now. "Fine then, fuck you too buddy, and I was gonna let you come home and help me with this problem but to late now" yells Xellos as you can tell, he's yelling cause he's drunk off his ass. Xellos then leaves the bar with a big bump on his head because before he left the bar tender whacked him one for being an ass and harassing the customers.

"Now where are we going again?" asks Gourry for the 15th time.

"AAAHHH for the last time boy we are going to the bank to get money so we can eat, now STOP ASKING!!!!!" shouts Lina. Everyone one the street is now staring at them. "Yeah go ahead and stare your just jealous cause Im prettier then you!" yells Lina to the people on the street.

"Um, Lina san I think we should get going now or we will never get there," Amelia suggests.

"Yeah or else Gourry will ask again and you'll have to scream again and then we won't EVER get there," adds Filia.

"Ok fine, we'll go now as long as.... "

"Um, Lina where are we going again?" asks Gourry once more cutting Lina off. A loud scream is now heard.

Back at the house, Saki is done yelling at herself, so she goes out to see people on the couch and decides to sit too yeah if I was yelling and walking around for a while I'd wanna sit too. She looked at them with a confused face, since Zel looked freaked not that way Reiyu looked depressed and well Yurei looked depressed too._ I wonder if I should check there minds to see what's up_ Saki thought, she then channeled into Zel's mind 1st. _I can't believe she LOVE'S me, oh my god I just don't understand it, why, why, WHY_ Zel thought. "Damn boy is it that hard to believe I mean come on Zel, everyone knew but you really, even Amelia but just couldn't admit it to her so snap out!" Saki yelled.

Zel looked surprised, "Why must you read my thoughts? That is so rude and invading," he stated.

"Because I can and if you people would stop hiding things from me I wouldn't have too now would I" Saki said in an annoyed pitched tone. Zelgadis hung his head. _Now its Reiyu's turn _she thought. Saki then channeled into his mind. _Why am I like this now? I shouldn't be like this. Lord of Nightmares what is wrong with me! Spirits and me NO, spirits and Yurei YES so why me!! I thought I was going crazy but yesterday, I saw that dead girl and AHH! This is so not right! _"Reiyu you where crazy in the first place, and I think you should tell people these things, and no not random people, I mean your group people's, and to my guess it's a family thing. Ok now stop being depressed and get on with your lives people or all kill you all or just do nothing," shouted Saki to everybody.

"Reiyu, what is she talking about?" asked Yurei.

"SIS I'M GETTING YOUR ABILITIES TO SEE SPIRITS!" Reiyu shouted. Wow people like to yell and shout today

"See spirits? Are you kidding me?"

"NO!"

"Well dah he's not kidding, now why would he lie in his mind?" asked Saki.

"I don't know, because he's Reiyu," replied Yurei. Lioku then came in.

"Now why is everyone yelling?" he asked, "and why do you all look depressed, freaked, and Saki?"

"Well because Zelgadis just found out that Yurei not only likes him but loves him, Reiyu now has the power to see spirits and well I'm Saki so I should look like me," Saki said.

"Um ok... Wait Reiyu has the power to see spirits too, I feel so let out now, and we all knew that Yurei loved him, its common sense," Lioku said.

"Uh, it is?" asked Yurei blushing.

"Yeah, I guess, I was kind of obvious don't you think? You always hang around him, followed him, stick up for him," stated Lioku.

"Yeah and dreamed 'bout him too, you cant for get that, um... wait I think Im telling toooo much now, ill shut up," added Saki with a grin.

"Uh, but I sort of do those same thing with Reiyu...accept dream about him...now I've said way too damn much...BAD MOUTH! BAD MOUTH!" screamed Yurei.

"Yep yep that is true you do to those things to Reiyu but dream bout him, yep you do," Lioku said.

"The look of love Yurei, that's what, set it apart from what you do to Reiyu, and you also don't give Zel a morning beating, but wait..... Heeheeheeheehee he might like that, but back to that subject, when you looked at Reiyu you like just... looked at him, and Zel, there was something there not just... stare you know," Saki replied.

"Um guys you know we are sitting right here listening to this, you know that right?" Zel said blushing like hell. Well, hell is hot and red so it makes some senseIf you say so

"Well Zel, Heheehee that rhymes, but you need to hear this maybe not from Lioku and me but still you need to know, but Im surprised you couldn't see it, I mean how slow are you?" asked Saki in amazement.

"Well....um... I...did, yes... no um ok," slurred Zel. No not drunk

"Wait I thought this was about me?" Reiyu questioned.

"Well bro it is but right now, we are started with Zel. Why you might ask? Well its cause Saki started with him that's why," replied Lioku, "plus Yurei would of wanted it this way right?"

"OH LEAVES ME ALONE! o" yelled Yurei also blushing like hell.

"Ok sis whatever you say but its true," grins Lioku.

"Yes, yes hun I think you are very proud that your sister is in love, we can all see, or wait, thoughts who have brains can see that really," Saki said.

"Well yes I am proud as a matter of fact, she's my sister, now I should be proud since I have took care or her since.... Um... I have no clue but I know a long time, so like I'm a father or something right? Or guardian so I should be, plus...... its soooo kawaii!! " Lioku said still proud and grinning.

"Now that we're on the subject Lioku, who's your favorite in this house?" Yurei asked.

"Oh god, here we go!" says Zel.

"Ok if this gets to dramatic again I'm leaving this group," comments Saki with a stare.

"I'm talking about girls, not siblings!" says Yurei.

"Well its ether Filia, Saki...-"

"Not in your live hun," Saki cuts in.

"...or Amelia." Lioku finished.

"Not to like... I don't know...be harsh on your picks big bro, but one, Amelia's two years younger than you and we all know who she wants...even I know for gods sake!...GRR! And lets not forget that Filia is a Miko and has to stay a virgin so ya can have her and Saki,...well we all no that's never gonna happen so I think you need a better selection.... Not Lina for 1 ... yeah, and 2. She's got Gourry, not me eeewwwww so I think someone from a different group is best."

"Uh, are we ever going to get to my problem?" asked Reiyu.

"What, now you need a girlfriend?" asked Yurei.

"AAHHH what no! I mean the problem with the spirits not that!" yelled Reiyu.

"But you should get one bro, their fun.... Um wait, never mind," commented Lioku.

"Oh Lioku how the hell would you know their fun? You've never had one," says Saki "and don't look at me that way, you're scaring me!!"

"I know!" said Yurei with her eyes lighting up. "Let's get Amelia together with Reiyu! She may become my sister in law- but who cares, we'd probably only see each other on the holidays!"

"Uh, Yurei, were off that subject now..." says Zel.

"What a happy family reunion," comments Saki. "Cant wait to see the kids!"

"Hey good thinking sis they do look cute don't they, even though I'd want her too but I will live, um but she's with her group walking on main street god that's wronghow she gonna get here?" says Lioku.

"If ya want I'll send a thought wave to her!" suggests Saki with a smile that could scare an army half to death.

"Um... ssuurreee Saki whatever you say!?!" studders Lioku looking paranoied.

"Alrighty then!!" shouts Saki.

"Ummm...MUSHI!" says Reiyu.

"No FOOD!" says Yurei. "We're setting you up here!"

"Why?" Reiyu asks.

"Because you're a lonely little boy that needs help, and we care... well sort of," says Saki, "now am I gonna do this thing or not? You know I don't have all day, and NO people me and Xellos are fighting so I DO have ALL day."

"Ok babe, do your thang," replies Lioku he just said thang -cringe-

"Don't call me babe, do you want an early grave or sumthin?" asks Saki lookin very annoyed.

"Only if it was next to yours."

"No it wouldn't be!! You know that was a threat not a suggestion."

" Yeah I know."

"Ok – sweat drop-"

Saki then looks like she's concentrating very hard.

"Wow Saki looks scary," Reiyu says.

"That's because she never concentrates, she only does that when she .... Never mind," replied Zel.

"You know I can hear you people," yells Saki. _Hey, hey Amelia, get your little justice ass over here now! I or we have sumthin for ya, and its good, and no, Zel is dressed. Ok now come before the opportunity passes. You'll like it, I know you will. Now this is Saki reporting out with thoughts to you yyyyeeee hhhaaaa!_ "Ok done" says Saki lookin very pleased with herself.

"Um, Saki what did you ssaaaay?" stutters Reiyu.

"Ah not much, just for her to come" Saki replies.

"Ok good, I think," Reiyu said still nervous.

"Wait you think??" adds Saki very confused.

"Um, you guys?" asks Yurei

"Your remember that Reiyu don't know about that Birds and the Bees yet right?"

"Shit your right," answers Saki, "NO Lioku isn't gonna tell him, he will be cursed for live, and I'm as hell not gonna." Saki looks at Zel.

"What?"

"Your gonna have to," says Saki.

"Why me?? Why cant we wait till Lina or Gourry comes so they can tell him?"

"Cause Lina's a ditz and Gourry probably forgot."

"Damn you have a point."

"I know not you take him to your room so I or no one can hear it cause I dot think we want to hear that one again," finishes Saki.

"Grrr fine" Zel replies and he takes Reiyu's arm and drags him away to his room. God that sounds wrong (Yes it does, he my twin brother!)

"Poor Reiyu...now his brain will be rotted out by these things and he will never be the same...just hope he doesn't end up like Lioku," says Yurei.

"Yeah and that isn't the bad part, he will now know what Lioku says by don't let me die a virgin aaahhh and he'll know bout me and Xellos shit man," adds Saki.

"Hey am I all that bad of a brother?" asks Lioku.

"Yes," says Saki, "now I'm gonna go and ...um... clean my sleeping room or sumthin to keep my busy."

"You do that," comments Yurei.

Just then Amelia got the message." Um guys? I think we need to go home, or I think ill just go home," said Amelia with a odd expression.

"Why?" asks Lina.

"Um, ok if you want to," says Gourry. Amelia then heads home to see the sumthin was that was soooo good. Amelia wandered home (and got lost at one point, so it took twice as long.) Amelia went into the house and heard Saki singing.

"Hakuna Mattata, what a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Mattata! Isn't a passing craze! It means no worries! For the rest of you days! It our problem free philosophy! Hakuna Mattata!" at that minute Zel and Reiyu wandered out of Zel's room.

"...And that's where babies come from." Says Zel.

"...Really?" says Reiyu wide-eyed.

"For the last time REALLY!" Reiyu pauses and then squints his eyes.

"EWWW!"

"If you want to know more, just ask Saki, she a pro!" Zel comments. Reiyu thinks and concentrates really hard.

"...wait...you mean...with Xellos...and Saki...EWW!"

"Hey, don't judge till you've tried it kid!" says Lioku.

"That does not sound right, Lioku," says Yurei.

"Yeah, and how in the world would you know!?" asks Saki as she came out of her room. Saki notices Amelia.

"Hey! Amelia's back! LETS PARTY! Not really." Reiyu looks at Amelia and blushes. Amelia then asks Saki.

"Now what's this really good thing that you keep ranting on about through my head?

"Uhh," Saki tries to recall what she did. About five minutes of silence passes. Then a light bulb pops over her head. "I REMEMBER NOW!" she then takes the light bulb over her head. "Oooo, free light bulb! I needed a replacement anyway!" Saki then drags Amelia into her room and shuts the door and then puts a Don't Disturb sign on her door. No matter how wrong this may sound, that is not the case! Thank god!

Inside Sakis Room

"So, what did you want to tell me?" asks Amelia.

"You really want to know? You really want to know?"

"No I just came from wherever the hell I was, got lost and was chased by a dog that nearly dragged me away to a dark alley for the hell of it."

"Oh, really...then I won't tell..."

"Just tell me already!"

"Okay, I wanted to tell you Reiyu has this really big crush on you and wants to take you out on a date."

"Really?"

"No, I'm lying. Of course really!"

"Oh, I've always dreamed of the day my prince charming would sweep me off my feet like a princess and off to his castle! I just never imagined it would be Reiyu!"

"Well, yeah. At least Reiyu's a guy. You know you can't have some imaginary boyfriend! Now deal with it! Reiyu has a crush on you so go on a date, get married, have kids, I really don't care, just get out of my room! You know how creepy it is to have a don't disturb sign on my door right now!" Saki then pushes Amelia out of her room. Reiyu and Amelia look at each other and blush. Lioku leaves to his room. Zel looks at the two and says,

"I think a should leave you two alone now." He starts to leave.

"WAIT! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! I CAN BARELY WALK!" Yurei attempts to follow Zel but falls to his feet sprawled out on the floor. Zel leaves to his room. Yurei gets up and after many a stumble and fall makes it to her room. She falls into her room...literally. "Ouch!" Reiyu and Amelia sweatdrop.

"Soooo..." Amelia starts. "Where do you want to go?"

"What?"

"Saki said you had a crush on me. So where do you want to go?" Reiyu looked down.

"Saki-san, why do you curse me?"

"So, where do you want to go?"

"I don't know, where do you want to go?"

"You."

"You."

"Hey, guys," says Saki "Hurry up and decide. I'd like to see kittens within a couple of months."

"But we're not cats," said Amelia.

"So, kittens are cute..." says Saki. "...Oooo leave me alone!"

"Hey, I have another idea!" says Yurei.

"Wow, unusual day for you, isn't it?" comments Saki. Yurei then drags Reiyu into his room and shuts the door. About a minute after he comes out, wearing his best outfit, suspenders and a white shirt with black shoes. Yurei then drags Amelia into her own room. About five minutes pass until Amelia comes out wearing a fancy purple dress of Yurei's and a rose in her hair. Saki stops Yurei before she is able to go into her room.

"What the heck are you doing?"

"I'm giving these two a date here? Want to help?"

"Not really, but it might get interesting. What job do you have for me?"

"You're the chef."

"Why am I always the chef?"

"Because you're the only one who can cook." Yurei then goes into her room and comes back out wearing a waiter's outfit. Then, with Lioku's help, she pushes the sofa and chair out of the way and puts a table and two chairs there. She then snaps Reiyu's fingers together and a tiny fire is lit and then a candle in the middle. Saki comes out of the kitchen and sets down some strange 'juice' on the table. The two sit down and take a sip.

"This tastes weird," says Amelia.

"Um...yeah...but it doesn't matter to me..." says Reiyu.

Meanwhile in the kitchen

"Saki, how can we help?" asks Lioku. He then bumps into Filia and they drop a stack of plates.

"...uh, just taste-test this for me," Saki then puts down some tea cups. Lioku and Filia sit down, and start to drink it.

"This is strange-tasting tea," says Lioku.

"Tea, yeah...sure if you want it to be..." says Saki.

"Yeah, but its good," says Filia. Lioku drinks a lot more and passes out. Filia goes over and gets some more.

"We need music," says Yurei. She then get Zelgadis out of his room and hands him a guitar. "Please play! We need music!"

"Uh, okay," says Zel who begins to play.

"May I take your order?" says Yurei, sitting down on the table.

"Uh, yeah...but why are you sitting where we will be eating?" asks Amelia.

"Because I haven't regained all my strength," says Yurei. "Now what do you want...and don't be a pig Reiyu."

"Um, food," says Reiyu.

"What kind of food?"

"The kind we can eat."

"Fine, I'll get you spaghetti. Somehow it's always associated with love." Yurei then goes back into the kitchen and tells Saki what to prepare. Then she notices Lioku and Filia. "What happened to them?"

"They drank too much," Saki replied as Filia reached for her fifth glass.

Meanwhile

Amelia and Reiyu were bored. Reiyu tapped his fingers on the table and Amelia kept looking at him and blushing. Eventually the dinner came. Reiyu got excited until he realized there was only one plate there.

"You have to share," Yurei tells them. "You know the Lady and the Tramp thing!" The two are about though dive into the food when Filia comes in a priests outfit. She begins to recite while stumbling all over herself.

"Dearly beloved...to join...this person...and this person...in holy matrimony...do you...whatever your name is...taken...whatever her name is, to be your wife?" Reiyu took another sip and his eyes got all glossy.

"Uh, is that a yes or no question?"

"A no, no a yes question," says Filia.

"Then, ah, yes."

"And, you...the girl person, people, whatever! Do you take whatever his name is to be your lawful wedded husband thingy? To have...eeewwwww...and to hold...eww...for yatta yatta yatta whatever?"

"Oh, yes, yes YES!" says Amelia obviously drunk.

"Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride...or whatever you want!" And for the hell of it, Saki went over and pushed the two into a closet and closed the door. She then put Zelgadis in front of it.

"What are you doing? He's not piece furniture!" says Yurei.

"But he is part rock; you have to give him credit for being a good paperweight. Filia then passed out. At that minute Lina and Gourry came in. the saw the food, ate the food and passed out. Yurei then went over to Zel and laid her head on his lap and fell asleep. He soon fell asleep too, playing the guitar. Meanwhile Amelia and Reiyu fell asleep in the closet, Amelia on Reiyu's lap. Amelia woke up and saw Reiyu stroking her hair. She kissed his forehead and fell back asleep. Hours later, Saki looked inside.

"God, they didn't do anything!" Moments later Xellos comes in looking drunk off his ass. He looks at everyone passed out on the floor. He looks at everyone.

"Whoa! What happened here! It looks like another bar with everybody passed out and stuff but I can't get kicked out of it, because I live here! Cool!"

**Well thats all for now folks, i will write the next chappie once i get some more reviews!**


End file.
